Elegantly Random

The war continues.

I've got a lot of thoughts on this, the morning after Barack Obama's big announcement that the U.S. military has found and killed Osama Bin Laden. I'm having a lot of trouble organizing them and processing them, but I have them.

When 9/11 happened, it was a huge blow to the American psyche. Never had we experienced such a devastating act of random terrorism on our soil. We were angry and confused and saddened, and looking for someone to blame. Fortunately, Al Qaeda had a mastermind, Osama Bin Laden, and he became the face of evil for most Americans. I think any American citizen who was alive and cognizant on 9/11 would agree that Osama was evil and needed to be stopped, though we may have disagreed about the best way to go about that. As such, I think every American citizen is thankful today that Osama Bin Laden is no longer in the picture, that that particular act of violence has been in some way avenged. 

But I'm conflicted, for so many reasons. Even in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, I remember watching news programs and listening to pundits and journalists and President Bush spit angrily into the cameras and swear that we would find and kill Osama Bin Laden and end this terrorism - we would fight a war against terror. And I thought, "How do you DO that? How do you fight a war against an intangible concept like terrorism?" I don't think, in the past ten years, a true and clear victory has been made in "the war against terrorism." Terror, by its very nature, is random and unpredictable. Therefore, you cannot fight it. You can avenge previous acts of terror. You can protect yourself as much as possible on your own soil. But you can't fight a war against it, because it's not a physical object you can blow up. There will always be evil people in the world who want to destroy one another, or us. To think anything else is naive, in my opinion.

So here we are in 2011 after searching for OBL for ten years - and President Obama, in the midst of a very rocky term and with the help of U.S. military and intelligence, was able to find and eliminate him. My first reaction was, "GO BARRY!" Because really, this is a good thing for him as president. All the people who've said "What has Barack Obama done in this term?" will have less ability to say that now. He stopped Osama Bin Laden. Kudos. I'd argue he's done quite a lot of other things in the past few years as well, though not as many as we may have liked - but I blame Congress and the Senate for that in many ways, and it's an entirely different post for a different rainy day. Today, no one can say Barack Obama is all talk and no action. And I'm thankful for that. And today, an evil man has been stopped. I'm thankful for that too. 

But do I think the war on terror has been won? No. No, I do not. Because just as I thought in 2001, I still don't think you can fight terror with guns. I don't think eliminating Osama Bin Laden makes us safer than we were two weeks or two months or two years ago. Right now, somewhere in the world, some other evil mastermind is hatching a plan to hurt us, along with probably hundreds of other evil masterminds hatching plots to hurt other people around the planet. I'm not trying to be depressing or cynical, it's just LIFE. Good and evil, yin and yang. It's out there. I also don't much like dwelling on that, or living my life in fear, so I don't. I haven't been afraid since 9/11 and I don't intend to start any time soon.

And the false patriotism on display last night outside the White House and today on the cover of countless newspapers and magazines? It upsets me. Though I am glad that OBL is gone, I never like to see people celebrating the death of another human being. It just feels funny. Shouldn't it be more reverent, somehow? Should we really be waving flags, singing the national anthem, setting off fireworks and partying in the streets because we killed a man? Should we be buying copies of magazines or checking out websites with photos of his corpse? Maybe we should...but something about it turns my stomach. I think back to 9/11, when we saw footage of people celebrating in the streets of Afghanistan and Iraq as our twin towers burned to the ground, and thousands of Americans were shocked and outraged that anyone could celebrate in that way. I wonder, today, how the people of Afghanistan and Iraq felt watching the coverage of us dancing in the streets last night, or at various points throughout the past ten years as we've celebrated our "victories" in Iraq and Afghanistan. It all seems so senseless, and I don't feel any safer today than I did ten years ago. It feels like nothing has changed, except I can't hang out with family at their gate before a flight anymore. I wish we could have brought Osama to justice through a fair trial, rather than just by killing him.

So I'm conflicted today. I am proud of our president, and I'm happy the world is rid of an evil man. I'm thankful for our military and all the men and women who fight every day to keep our country safe. But I'm not happy to see my fellow Americans celebrate in the way they're celebrating, or hear commentary about how we've emerged victorious in our war against terror or the Taliban. I'm interested in how this will play out politically, and what it means for our country going forward in our dealings with the Taliban and other terror organizations and in Pakistan. There's so much mess still to clean up, so much work to be done...I just don't know how much celebration I can muster.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject. 

On democracy.

I was a bad girl this year and I waited till the last minute to vote. In Washington, we all do mail-in ballots, so I got my materials in the mail several weeks ago...and then they sat collecting dust on the couch in my craft den, unloved, unread. I don't know why I put it off for so long, but I did. Whatever, I've been busy. I have crossed the country four times since July, and I've been sick twice now. Who has time to research?

Ahem...most of America, apparently, judging by the shit-tastic turnout yesterday at the polls. What is UP with that, America? I tweeted this earlier, but the thing that grinds my gears more than anything about this election season isn't who won or lost yesterday, or how many Republicans now make up the Congress versus Democrats, it's the number of people who came out to vote in 2008 and for whatever reason couldn't be bothered to do so yesterday.

According to Michael Tomasky, 45 million people who voted in 2008 didn't show up to do so yesterday. That's INSANE. 

What is it about the Americans that makes us think it's totally fine to only give a damn about government when it's a presidential election at stake? Why is it that we repeatedly hang all of our hopes and cares on the shoulders of one human being, like some superstar can come along and erase all of our problems and put more money in our pockets? I've got news for you - that stuff has to start right in your own backyard, in your own town. If you're ignoring your local issues, you have no right to complain about anything going on in this country. Or the world. 

Everyone who reads this blog knows I voted for Obama, and most of you know I still support him. Has he made good on all his promises? No. But I am stumped as to why anyone thought he WOULD make good on all those promises. It was an election. It's like an elaborate stage show, where people put on costumes and use lots of smoke and mirrors and Auto Tuners to make everything seem sparkly and awesome. I do think Obama looked and sounded pretty good, but I was aware of what the problems were in this country and I was under no illusion that he would be able to fix all or even most of it. And CERTAINLY not in 2 years, or 4 years for that matter. It's crazy-talk.

I would like to thank my friend Martha and her friends on Facebook, though, for posting several articles this week about why we should still be rooting for our president. You can read them here, here and here. It's good to take stock of the things he's doing RIGHT, because we all know all the things that aren't going so great.

So anyway, I just needed to vent - to all the people who stayed home yesterday, shame on you. Shame on you for not taking the time to care about what happens in your city, your state, or this country.

And to all the people who DID vote but can't even begin to tell me what they voted for, EVEN MORE SHAME. It's the only thing you can do that's worse than staying home.

I do want to share a little happy moment from this week. On Monday night, as I was filling out my ballot (post marked by Tuesday, thank you very much, so it was on time), Jay and I were reviewing Washington State Initiative 1098 (read about here, scroll down), which concerns establishing a state income tax and lowering other taxes*. According to this proposed initiative, the state of Washington, which currently charges its residents no income tax, would require those who make more than $200k per year to begin paying income tax. This was a pretty hot topic around here, as you can imagine in a poor economy. 

Jay voted against the initiative, even though he wouldn't be affected by it, as he isn't in the $200k + income bracket. His thoughts are that if it starts with the wealthy, pretty soon everyone will be taxed. And he's probably right. I decided to vote in favor of the initiative, because as much as I enjoy not having to pay any taxes and having a larger paycheck, I believe that it should be the responsibility of all people to pay taxes in order to contribute to the betterment of our state. I actually think that everyone should have to pay taxes unless they fall below the poverty line, but that everyone should pay an amount that correlates in some fair way to the amount they earn (those who make more should pay more).

Jay and I clearly disagree on this issue, but I have to say, it was pretty cool to sit there with him and talk about it, not fight, but each share our concerns about the initiative, and in the end each mark different boxes on our ballots. Because THAT is what democracy is all about. We live in a country where we don't have to agree, and each one of us is given a voice. Not to use our voices is just such a waste of the extreme privilege we still enjoy in this country, and it is an insult to those who aren't granted the same freedom, whose voices aren't heard.

* For the record, the initiative was voted down.

One meal at a time.

As I've mentioned several times now, I've been reading Michael Pollen's The Omnivore's Dilemma for the past few weeks. It's a really heavy book - not so much in the sense that it's too dense to read, but the subject matter I find gets me really worked up and I have to take breaks. Breaks in which I read horrible, shitty sci-fi books. It is summer, after all.

So here's the deal with TOD and Michael Pollen. It's really disturbing. Like, it has the power to alter my mood and keep me up at night. I'm only about 1/3 of the way through the book, and I'm already so saturated with terrifying information that I've reached a point where it's hard for me to even express my thoughts about the book.

What's good about it is, Pollen manages to make some serious points about the food industry without writing a persuasive work of non-fiction. He uses the facts to show us how deeply screwed we are. The premise of the book is the simple question "What should I have for dinner?" Pollen follows the major food chains of industrialized and alternative food production to show us where our food comes from and how it gets on our plate. And it's upsetting on so many levels that I don't have time or space to share with you. 

But honestly, everyone should be reading this book, and his other book, In Defense of Food, because the fact of the matter is, plain and simple, the government and the food industry are keeping us obese and unhealthy because it is more profitable. And we should all be up in arms over our food - not just our meat, but all of our food - because it's laden with processed corn and other things that are horrible for us. Almost all of it. It's really disturbing to look into your cabinets and refrigerator and realize exactly how many processed foods you are buying - or rather, how few of your groceries are whole, unprocessed food.

And I think we generally know that processed food isn't as good for us, sort of? But maybe not. I'm here to tell you, if you had any doubts, it IS bad for you. And the more I read about it, the less I can ignore it. Just like with the meat industry, which is bad enough, but it's just a sliver of the overall bad scene we're dealing with.

That leaves me thinking I should cut out processed foods - right? But it seems absolutely impossible. Literally 70% of the things in my kitchen are in some way processed. And I'm a really healthy eater. How? Where would I even start? It's daunting, and that's why most people just shove it under the table and keep eating. But then, it occurred to me - what if I attempt it one meal at a time? It would take a while, and a lot of hard work, but what if?

So, that's what I'm proposing. A challenge, if you will, in which I set about attempting to cut out processed foods from my diet, one meal at a time. I realize that it will never be possible to do it entirely, but I feel like if I have looked very carefully at everything I eat and really made an effort, then the occasional squirt of ketchup or handful of M&Ms (things I can't really recreate myself) won't hurt me. I wonder if I will lose weight, have more energy? I wonder how much more money and time it will cost me? I wonder if the food will taste better? Will it help me with my cholesterol and acid reflux?

So the first meal is, of course, breakfast. I usually eat some cereal, but we already crossed over to making all our bread ourselves. I know this can be done. I don't like yogurt (believe me, I have tried it every which way, so don't suggest it), but I do like oatmeal and granola and the like. I also can't have a lot of dairy in my daily diet. With that in mind, I'd love your input. What should I have for breakfast? I am willing to cook things ahead of time, but not every morning.

Stay tuned.

Stirring the pot a bit.

It seems like it's been way too long since I wrote anything that made people good and pissed off at me, right? Right. So here it is, folks. Healthcare. I want to talk about it.

I don't pretend to know every single detail of the new healthcare bill. I definitely read about the process along the way in magazines like Newsweek, The Atlantic Monthly, Time and Rolling Stone, which I think is probably a little leftist overall, but not too bad. I also have tuned in to news broadcasts from Fox News (yes, I watch it, though I despise it), CNN, MSNBC, NPR and of course the ultimate news broadcasting outlet, The Daily Show. Hehehe.

So here's the deal, as I see it. The healthcare system we have right now is one of the priciest in the world, and our people are some of the least-covered in the world. Compared to other countries like us, the United States does the least for its people in terms of making sure they can go to the doctor. The insurance companies and lobbyists who run our healthcare system are corrupt. And basically, unless you're rich in this country, the experience of getting medical care is pretty much terrible across the boards.

Under the new system, basically nothing changes at all for those of us who are fortunate to have healthcare coverage. Currently, my husband and I have money deducted from our monthly pay so that our companies can provide us with healthcare coverage. That would still be the case, and the amount of money that will be taken away from us is basically the same. This is true for most people in our situation. So why should people in our situation be upset by the bill?

For the people who own businesses - what does it matter if you pay money to greedy, evil insurance companies and healthcare corps, or to the government? You still need to provide care to your employees. And if that's what you're angry about - being forced to do so? I don't understand. Explain it to me like I'm a two year old, and use small words, because I'm basically not clear on the problem here. I'd like to know how being pissed that you have to give your employees health insurance makes you anything other than a giant asshole. Because I don't get it. Please, explain.

And for the people who don't have healthcare - are you angry that you're being asked to get coverage? Because that's just irresponsible, both to yourself, your family and to society at large. No one likes the guy who comes to work sick.

And to all those out there who think THEIR dollars shouldn't have to pay for RANDOM PEOPLE to get care, I say to you - it benefits you. This is the same argument I have with people who get angry about green stuff and saving the planet and carbon footprints. You might think it's stupid, but actually, it's better for YOU when you help the earth - or other people. If random people on the street are healthier, then YOU are healthier, every time you step out of your house and onto a public bus. Or go to work. You want the people around you spreading mad cow disease? I think not.

One of the things that most bothers me is this concept that people should just get off their lazy asses and get good jobs and take care of themselves. I can think of MANY people I know who work full time jobs and have either really bad healthcare coverage through their companies that ends up costing them a ton out of their own pockets, or no coverage provided at all by their employers. So explain that to me. People who work really hard shouldn't have to scrimp and save to go to the doctor.

When we were in Europe in March, it was really interesting to talk to all of Jay's coworkers who live in other countries where socialized healthcare is the norm. Someday I'll write about socialism and why it's not evil, but that's not today. The point is, to the Europeans, we are ass-backwards. They can't understand why our government doesn't take better care of us, because they get to enjoy it every day. They get sick, they go to the doctor for free. They get pregnant, they get a year, sometimes two years, paid leave. Husbands get this perk too. Sometimes you get a live-in maid to help you out.  A LIVE-IN MAID. 

I'd say not only is the new healthcare bill nothing that middle class Americans should be freaking out about, but the bill is really only the first step toward a way, way larger change that should be occurring. There are a lot of people out there who think the bill isn't a big ENOUGH change.

Last year I read an article that basically said, if you want to know the personality of a country, look at its healthcare system. Is this a country that cares for its people, that believes it's a basic right of every citizen to receive equal care when sick? Currently, it isn't. We are not the sort of country that reaches out to help a guy. What's even funnier about that is (sadder, rather) is that we're always arranging mission trips or funds to help people in third-world countries who just got whacked by a hurricane or tsunami...and yet we're not willing to help the guy who lives next door and is dying of some disease.

So...I'm confused. What's the matter with a government wanting to provide its citizens with healthcare?

Mad at Maine.

I'm really pissed off at Maine.

Six months ago, the state of Maine passed a bill that would allow gay marriage. Yesterday, the voters of Maine headed to the polls to make sure that wouldn't come to pass, and they succeeded. The law was rejected. This follows a similar incident last fall in California, when voters in that state passed Proposition 8 banning gay marriage. As in Maine, the state's decision was overridden by the public at the polls.

I'm not gay. I don't have any family members who are gay. But to me, this issue cuts straight to the heart of human rights and human decency. Who am I, who is anyone, to say some humans should be denied fundamental rights? This isn't a question of religion - it's a question of humanity. And sometimes it is the role of the law to make decisions on behalf of citizens. I know, I know - government intervention is evil. But the general population doesn't always get it right. If government hadn't ever intervened, how long might it have taken for people to opt via general election to grant women or black citizens their basic human rights?

I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase "tyranny of the majority" - and if you haven't, take heed. The basic idea is that, left to their own devices, the majority will gang up on the minority and the minority will lose. But the majority isn't always right (i.e. CIVIL RIGHTS). And sometimes it is the DUTY, yes the DUTY of those in charge to stand up for the little guy.

And right now, gay and lesbian citizens are the little guy. Here's a fantastic argument for why the right to a civil union should never even have been on a ballot to begin with.

Some of you have heard me talk about a certain friend who has not once, but TWICE de-friended me on social media sites for making political comments. More than 100% of participants in a recent poll on my Facebook page concluded that de-friending someone for speaking up is LAMER THAN LAME. The first time it happened, I was really crushed. The second time, I didn't care.

Last year, during the presidential election, some things came to the surface with a black man and a woman running for president that just sickened me. Issues were stirred up that I hadn't had to deal with among friends before. And I had a sort of personal epiphany. While I absolutely respect that some people's views won't line up with mine, and I am fine with that, I'm no longer going to give hate a free pass.

What I mean is this. If you truly believe that gay marriage is evil, that gay people are going to hell, then fine. I'm not going to try and change your mind. I think you're wrong, but I'm not going to argue with you. You are entitled to think that. But the minute you cross the line from "I personally think this is wrong" to "I am going to vote to remove someone's rights," I'm done. Go ahead and think gay marriage is evil - you have fun with all that hatred. It's probably exhausting. But if you voted against gay marriage, you are hateful.

HATEFUL.

Because who CARES? Why does it matter to you if your neighbor is gay and gets married? It changes NOTHING about your life. But your vote absolutely changes your neighbor's life. Who are you to say, to judge? What's the big deal? Are you scared your kid is going to go to school with a kid who's got gay parents? And they're going to hang out and your kid is gonna TURN GAY? Get a grip! This is the world we live in - gay people are people too. 

Should I have been denied marriage because I married a Jew, or he married me? Because it's the same thing. Should black people still be sitting at the back of the bus? Should women still be denied the right to vote?

This has nothing to do with religion. It has to do with ignorance, fear and hate. And I'm not going to stand for it. I can't force people to wake up and become better people. But I can call it like I see it. Hate. If you don't want to marry a gay couple in your church, don't - but there's NO REASON I can see to deny them a civil ceremony and the same basic rights as any heterosexual, committed couple.

And one more thing - this whole notion of tolerance? That has to go. Tolerance doesn't help. Acceptance helps. Don't just deign to tolerate those who are different from you - accept them. Open your heart, accept it and MOVE ON.

From now on, anyone who moves to strip a person's rights as a human or to prevent them from gaining basic human rights that have previously been denied them is a HATEFUL person. There's no sugar-coating that. You do your thing, I'll do mine - but don't take my right to my thing away from me. Not till I've hurt or killed someone should I EVER have to worry about my rights being taken from me. And having your kid exposed to gayness, or having to work with a gay person is absolutely not murder or hurt. It's REAL LIFE. THIS IS THE REAL WORLD - join it ANY TIME. You can keep voting it down, but it's not going away.

One big headache.

Happy 3 year anniversary to me! Woot! Jay is awesome and I'm so lucky and made of win!

Aside from the joy of the anniversary though, I must share with you the blood-boiling experience I just had at the eye doctor. Yes, the EYE doctor. Usually the least invasive and uncomfortable doctor's experience one can have, but today, a SHINING example of the problems with our current health care system and a complete waste of my precious time and cash.

When I was in junior high, I started getting headaches almost daily, and after a time my mom hauled me to the eye doctor. I could see just fine, in fact my vision was (and still is) basically perfect, but I was getting headaches from reading the blackboard or the overhead projectors used in class. The eye doctor determined that I have astigmatism, which basically means that your cornea is abnormally curved and that it is hard for the eye to focus and read small details, up close or at a distance. He prescribed me a special lens that corrects that curve so that my eyes would relax and I wouldn't get headaches. And it worked!

Over the years, I have had three different prescriptions for astigmatism. The last one was issued to me in 2004, shortly before I moved to North Carolina. At that time, the doctor informed me that cases like mine are very tough to prescribe, because I do have good vision and I don't need any magnification, I only need curvatures to ease the process of focusing on objects. He told me to use the glasses when I'm reading, using a computer, watching anything on a screen in the dark or whenever I'm exhausted. And I did.

But when you can see, it's easy to get lazy about wearing your  glasses, so I can be lax about it sometimes. I mostly only wear my glasses when I'm tired or if I already have a headache. Not good. Lately, I've been having really severe headaches almost daily, and since I haven't been to the eye doctor since 2004, I thought I should go.

SO! I went. And I was excited about it! At 1:00 I drove the five miles to the clinic, recommended to me by several trusty coworkers. I figured I'd just grab a sandwich after my visit.

I arrived at 1:10. I was at the clinic until 3:45.

During my visit, I saw three different technicians. They measured my current glasses to find their prescription, performed a series of vision tests on me without giving me any indication how I did, and put various burning drops in my eyes to dilate them. I never was tested for glaucoma, which I cannot understand.

After seeing three technicians, it was 2:15. After an hour at my primary care physician, I'm almost always finished with the visit, which usually includes blood work and about 15 minutes with my awesome doctor. But today, at the eye doctor, after an hour of unexplained testing, I was put in a cold room to wait for my doctor. And wait I did - for more than 45 minutes.

When the doctor came in, after 3 p.m., he was absolutely not in any way hospitable or friendly. He shook my hand abruptly and then launched right into questioning me about my headaches, with zero chit-chat or even friendly eye contact. He didn't even MAKE eye contact with me. He also yawned the entire time. He then performed a series of light tests on my eyes, then abruptly flicked the lights back on.

Dr. Shithead: Sarah, I see nothing wrong with your eyes. I cannot see any evidence that your headaches are vision related. I do not see a need to write you a new prescription. Your vision is actually very good, and I don't think you should continue wearing your glasses because they don't seem to be doing anything for you. If you have no further questions, then you won't need another exam for two years. *dismissive look*

Me: So the glasses I'm wearing currently - they aren't treating any symptoms in my eyes? Don't they contain a prescription?

Dr. Shithead: Yes, your current prescription addresses your astigmatism.

Me: Then...are you saying I no longer have astigmatism? And I don't need a corrective prescription?

Dr. Shithead: The headaches you are experiencing are probably due to fatigue. You should remember to take breaks at work, get up from your computer now and then, give your eyes a break. Unless your symptoms worsen.

Me: But doctor, I have had a headache every single day for the past three weeks, and frequently for the past couple of months. And I do take breaks at work.

Dr. Shithead: If you contact your primary care physician, and tell them that I see nothing in your eye exam, they can do further tests to explore the issue. But I see nothing in this exam to indicate that your headaches are eye-related.

(Pause here. Astigmatism absolutely causes headaches and fatigue. And he really didn't clarify if I still have it - which one would assume I do, because I'm pretty sure your cornea can't magically un-curve itself).

Dr. Shithead: If that's all your questions, then I'll give you a copy of my information *hands me his resume* and ask you to remind your friends and family of the importance of eye care. *hands me a stack of his cards* Have a nice day. *leaves without shaking hands*

The man was telling me (in the total four minutes he deigned to spend with me) that I have near-perfect vision (which I already knew, since I've never had to wear my glasses to pass an eye exam) and that he has no idea why I'm having headaches and to cease wearing corrective lenses for astigmatism, even though I've been doing so for 15 years.

...

WHAT?!

So, I was furious by this point - literally shaking. Did I mention it was now well past 3 o'clock? I went to the reception desk and was asked to pay my $50 copay. Sheesh. I hand over my debit card, still trying to make sense of the rudest doctor in the world and the fact that I basically wasted two and a half hours of my life and 50 bucks to be told basically nothing and given what I'm pretty sure is a bad set of directions.

I felt uneasy. So I asked the receptionist if she could please give me a copy of the reading of my current prescription that the first technician had done. I explained I didn't receive a new prescription, but I would like to know what my previous one was. She went to take care of it. While I was waiting, some other woman, probably the woman in charge of reception, came along and asked me what I was waiting for. I told her. She then went off to take care of it, clearly in a huff at the busy desk situation. She came back and said to me, "I can't give you an RX today because they didn't give you one."

Me: I KNOW they didn't. What I want is a copy of the CURRENT prescription - the glasses I have now.

Obnoxious Reception Manager: The doctor's recommendation is that you stop wearing your glasses.

Me: *totally fed up* Yes, I know. But you see, ma'am, I have been wearing glasses for the past 15 years and I have previously been diagnosed with astigmatism. And I would like to know what my current prescription is for my records.

Obnoxious Reception Manager: Well, it's right here, and if you'll look at this page...

Me: I cannot read that page because of the dilation.

Obnoxious Reception Manager: When your eyes settle down, you'll see that your prescription is this and your reading today is actually an improvement in some areas. So that's a great thing, and you don't need to wear your glasses or you'll become dependent on them.

.......

Me: Well, the doctor didn't explain anything to me about this.

Obnoxious Reception Manager (who is realizing how pissed off I am and that I have had a shitty, shitty experience): *suddenly much warmer* Oh, well if you had a bad experience today, if your personality didn't mesh with the doctor, don't be discouraged - when you come back in two years, you can meet with a different doctor.

Right. SO when she figured out I was mad, she starts trying to sell me on my next visit by telling me I can see someone else - IN TWO YEARS. Because lord knows I'm not going to want to pay for another visit this year - my insurance only covers on a year. I've just wasted my time on this total jerk of a doctor who is telling me not to wear my glasses because my vision is fine, but not even addressing the fact that I have astigmatism which may be contributing to my discomfort, and perhaps IT has worsened even though my vision has not.

My question is - do I not have it anymore? He didn't answer that. Mild astigmatism doesn't always require corrective lenses, but if I don't need them anymore, after 15 years, he should explain to me, in detail, why that is. If you do ANYTHING for years, and someone tells you you don't need to anymore, most people want to know HOW that miracle occurred. Did my prescription help me and right now my eyes are better? I don't know. I have no answers, and I still have headaches.

So. In summary. I spent hours and hours at the doctor. The people who treated me were abrupt and hurried. The doctor I saw was busy, tired and inattentive, had no bedside manor, did not answer my questions or help me diagnose my problem, and was downright rude and dismissive. The staff was overworked, frenzied and also sort of rude. I had to pay a $50 copay, which is actually sort of a lot of money if you think about it, and my insurance will likely not cover the entire visit, so I'll be issued a bill in the mail. And since I had no luck at the visit, if I want more help or a second opinion before I toss 15 years of optical opinions and prescriptions out the window, I have to fork over my own cash - probably a LOT of my own cash - to cover the cost, because my insurance plan only allows me $250/year for optical care - which barely covers one visit.

Awesome.

Our health care system sucks. Imagine if I had had the same experience, but with a more serious issue, like, say, BREAST CANCER. Because that's absolutely happening to a ton of people today. They're going in to talk about their BREAST CANCER and being treated the way I was, or worse, getting NO answers and having to hand over money they don't have to pay for the privilege.

For now, my plan is talk to one of the professors in our physician assistant program at work to get his opinion. And I'm also going to keep using my glasses, because I think this doctor was full of crap.

And also? I'm gonna eat cake and drink wine tonight with my husband, who doesn't suck.

Robbed!

Americans woke up today and shit themselves over the shocking announcement that President Barack Obama, socialist, gun-thief and closet Muslim terrorist, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.*

(Wouldja look at that sinister face?)

"How can this be?!" cried the conservative right wing. "My kids are going to spend the next 500 years paying off the debt Obama has created! Not to mention the fact that he's gonna steal my cash and give it to the poor! Why should I help those lazy slackers who refuse to get jobs! And Obama's gonna take my guns! This is an outrage!"

Even the psychotic, socialist left-wing Obama supporters were forced to shake their heads in dismay, saying, "He hasn't DONE anything yet! Couldn't they have waited till AFTER he donned his red cape and saved the world from its certain demise?" And they might have a point. Lots of people feel like a Peace Prize should be rewarded for actions completed, not actions contemplated. But Nobel has lately been loving those who are trying to change the international climate - remember Al Gore?

Rather than waste time contemplating the reasons why Obama may have gotten his precious prize (like his giant steps forward in international relations, leading by example with a great attitude and open mind, level-headed dealings with Iran and forward-thinking plans for the future, not to mention the spike in approval ratings around the globe), let's get back on track. I think we're all missing the point here. The Nobel Prize people missed a brilliant opportunity this morning.

If they REALLY wanted to piss off the conservative right and get major air time on Fox News, they should have handed the peace prize to Bill Clinton!

If what everyone wants in a Peace Prize recipient is action, well then Bill's your guy! He DID rescue two innocent women from the evil clutches of a North Korean POW camp and bring them home safely to their families, right? So no one could say he didn't DO anything. And let's face it - without Bill there'd be no Barry. Ask any right-winger - Bill is the root of all evil. So it makes perfect sense to me that HE should have been awarded the Peace Prize, since the Nobel peeps clearly choose their winners based on what will make Rush Limbaugh foam at the mouth. Am I right, fellas?

Already the troops are calling for Barack to decline this falsely awarded honor - as well they should! Waiting in the wings is our TRUE Hero and Savior, the TRUE King of Socialism and Gun-Thievery, Lord of Healthcare Torture and Murderer of Christianity in America, Bill Clinton!

He wears his evil like a well-tailored suit.

*In all seriousness - congratulations to President Obama for what I feel is a great honor. He may not be far along in his presidency, but he absolutely has raised the bar for world-class efforts in foreign relations. He sets a wonderful example for the rest of humankind about tolerance, kindness and open-hearted empathy. This is a tough time to be president - anyone who took the job would have faced the same struggles, impossible situations and tough decisions, and I am confident that even though things look bleak, we chose the right person for the job. He still has a lot of work to do, so if he declines the award, I wouldn't blame him - but if he keeps it, I won't fault him for that either.

And congratulations too to Bill Clinton, who truly is an outstanding public servant and a badass motherfucker. I love you both!

All we need is just a little patience...

Thank you, Axl.

I haven't been talking about politics lately. Not here. I bitch about things at home, but for the most part I've been enjoying the fact that we have a thoughtful, articulate and intelligent president who can form complete sentences. And who seems to be trying to do the right thing. But my temperature is rising.

I logged in to AIM this morning and my Dashboard news popped up the following inane report on Barack Obama's slipping poll numbers. I call it inane because 1) all presidents' poll numbers slip after they spend a few months in office and 2) it doesn't matter what the poll numbers are because it's not an election year. It's just the media once again trying to make hype so people will tune in to their stations and have their minds numbed.

But I digress.

I have been bubbling with irritation for months and months now while doing a lot of reading and a lot of news-following. I have absolutely had it with all the "Rate Obama's first 100 days!" and "Rate Obama's first 200 days!" stories and discussions and panels. Friends - it's too soon to grade his performance. Chill out!

I know you all think I'm just a bleeding liberal and I'll blindly follow my leader like a sheep, but that's not the case. There are things that Obama has done so far that I'm disappointed in - but that would be true of anyone in office, because no president can make me happy 100% of the time, let alone make the whole COUNTRY happy. It's just not possible. He's no Mary Poppins! He can't just snap his fingers and fix it all! (Oh, but if he could!)

I wish Obama had asked for a higher stimulus package - I think, contrary to most Americans, that it wasn't big enough. I wish he would stand up for gay marriage. I wish he would close Guantanamo RIGHT NOW. But I still trust him to get the job done in the way that's best for the most people - because it's not about me. I wish people could understand that. It's not about ME PERSONALLY. It's about what's best for the country, and you know what? I have no clue what the answers are, so I'm willing to sit back for a while and give the man a little time to figure things out. The terrible economy was going to bitch slap us no matter who was president or how big the stimulus was. We are paying the price for YEARS of irresponsibility, and to expect anyone to be able to clean up a mess that's been 20 years in the making in 100 or 200 or 500 days is just insane.

Stop whining. Stop freaking out. It's FINE. Lots of good things are happening. We voted for change, and it's in the works. Have a little trust, have a little patience, and for god's sake, enjoy the part where your president isn't spending months on vacation shootin' stuff all the time, but actually WORKING.

I really, really respect the opinions of Paul Krugman - and before you start telling me how he's published in Rolling Stone and the New York Times, two uber-liberal platforms, let me remind you he won the Nobel Prize for economics, so I'm pretty sure he has a better idea of what he's talking about than you or I do. This article in particular from the March issue of Rolling Stone really makes a lot of great points.

My frustrations in a nutshell, and then I'll shut up for a few more months:

• I think we desperately need health care reform, and I hope that it passes, and I think people should do some research - most of the fears people have around this issue are ludicrous. No one is going to have to pay MORE. No one is going to be left for dead. And let's realize that those are the PRESENT conditions, so what we're trying to do is make it better for more people. And you know what, if health insurance cost me $20 more bucks a month but that $20 made it possible for someone else to go to the doctor, I would be okay with that. I have no tolerance on this issue. If you cannot see that our current system is shoddy, you are blind. If you are not willing to CONSIDER something new, you are selfish. There are people out there dying because they can't get in front of a doctor, and it is our duty as a country to fix that. Even if it DID mean those of us with money had to pay a little bit more. I've said this before, and I will keep saying it - TAX ME. GO AHEAD. TAKE MY MONEY. Most of the time, I'm pretty damn selfish, so if I can help others, BY ALL MEANS. Who am I to bitch, when I'm fortunate enough to have a nice life? And if I lost it all, I would hope someone else would feel the same way and want to help me.
• The GOP has got to stop being so unhelpful. Seriously, if they want to turn their party around, they need to cooperate and work together with democrats and independents to make change happen, not stubbornly block the road. It's getting ridiculous.
• People need to own their part in this destroyed economy and stop expecting our president to make magical changes in 1/25th of the time it took to create the mess. Start saving your money. Stop being irresponsible and racking up debt. And if you want things to be different, pay attention to YOUR LOCAL AND STATE GOVERNMENT because that's the best way you can bring change around. Don't hate the president - pressure your state representatives and congressmen and senators to do what's best for your state.
• I don't want to hear ANY MORE about how Obama is a socialist. SERIOUSLY. Someday I'm going to write a whole diatribe about socialism. GO READ ABOUT SWEDEN, PEOPLE. It looks PRETTY DAMN GOOD TO ME. We are NOT a socialist country, so SHUT UP!
• The media needs to re-learn what it is to report and stop airing 24 hours of opinion.

Change doesn't happen over night. Change takes time. And meanwhile, there's vodka.

There. I'm done. I'm getting off my soap box for a while.

PS - My husband wrote a really great post about the media, healthcare and all the rest - it's far more eloquent than this and I think you should read it.

Because there wasn't enough hate the first time...

Yesterday was my birthday, which was lovely. But you know what wasn't so lovely? Hearing the news that California's Supreme Court voted to uphold Prop 8, a voter-approved (as of November) ban on same-sex marriage.

The worst part about this is the Supreme Court's hands were sort of tied, because it is in fact legal to amend the constitution through a legal voting process. And that's exactly what happened - the gay-haters of California put together a great campaign and got this thing passed right under everyone's noses. There's nothing illegal about it - it's just evil and hateful and all that jazz. So, in case you missed it the first time around back in November, you can read all about it here.

The only good news here is that the judges decided to allow the 18,000+ gay marriages in California to stay legal and valid. Because the only thing worse than denying people the right to equality would be giving it to them and then ripping it away. Which, by the way, is exactly what a lot of people would LOVE to achieve.

This year, several more states passed laws to legalize gay marriage, which is amazing. Hooray for states like Maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont and New Hampshire for being a cut above the average. I can only hope that as time goes by, more and more states will come around and realize that sexual orientation is not a reason to discriminate. Hopefully by the time our kids are grown up they'll live in a country where same-sex marriage is a no-brainer.

Thoughts, anyone?

Yesterday was magic.

January 20 was the best day of my life. Well, pretty close anyway. For those of you who weren't snowed in for the first time in 2 years, or who weren't able to get away from work to watch the inauguration, I'll post video of Barack Obama taking the Oath of Office (way to screw up your ONE job, Justice Roberts) and delivering his inaugural address. It was not to be missed. By the end of the day, I was ready to reach through my television and strangle Wolf Blitzer though - seriously, I can't take all that analysis. "The speech was too long" - "No! It was too short!" "The speech was too serious." "No! It wasn't meaty enough!" Can it, pundits! This day is magical and I won't let you ruin it for me!

For all the ceremony and the spectacle and the inspiration and the 10 inaugural balls (again - if I had to hear "At Last" one more time I was ready to drink rat poison), you know what the best part was? No, it wasn't Cheney in a wheelchair - although that was pretty effin' great. It was Bush's departure. Here you go, Texas! You can have him! I don't even like you as a state anyway! And I can't help but admit that it was a warm and fuzzy feeling to know that, for the first time in eight years, good ol' Dubya is no longer in power. Do you know what he is? A gun-totin' peasant, folks! And I couldn't be happier.

Now! On to saving the country and all that crap!