Elegantly Random

On Japan.

While I'm 100% sure there's nothing I can say here that will be more interesting or useful than anything the other 9 bazillion bloggers on the interwebs have already said about this, I want to talk for a brief moment about the earthquake slash tsunami slash nuclear disaster in Japan. 

Last week, last Thursday night, to be exact, Jay and I happened to put on the news for a bit around 10:30 p.m. (not a normal occurance in our abode, as we get most of our news online or from Comedy Central) and were shocked and horrified to learn about the then-labeled 8.9, now confirmed as a magnitude 9 Tōhoku earthquake in the waters off the shore of Japan. We became still more horrified as we watched early footage of the tsunami and the flooding. For the past week, my friends and I have watched in shock and disbelief as heart-wrenching videos have spilled all over the internet, depicting the devastating flooding and horrible destruction left behind from the tsunami. I don't even know what to say about the terrifying state of affairs surrounding the six nuclear power stations that are compromised and leaking radiation into the air.

The whole thing is horrific. It makes me think back to 2005 when, one year after I moved to North Carolina, Louisiana was ravaged by Hurricane Katrina. I remember how devastating it was, how terrible, how heartbreaking. It's unbelievable when you stop and think for just a minute how much worse this situation in Japan is. According to Wikipedia, at least 1,836 people died in Hurricane Katrina and in the subsequent floods, but there was another U.S. hurricane, the Okeechobee in the Bahamas, Puerto Rico and Florida in September 1928, that did even more damage.

Wikipedia also reports that the Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami have collectively claimed 5,692 lives and left 2,409 injured and 9,522 missing across seventeen prefectures. The earthquake has been named one of the five most powerful in the world since modern record-keeping began in 1900.

I think everyone I know has been following this story pretty closely as it has unravelled, despite the fact that Japan seems pretty far away to most people in the United States. One thing I've noticed, though, is that if you live on the west coast, it doesn't seem quite so far away - for several reasons. One, we share an ocean, despite its vastness, so Japan feels like a neighbor now in a way it didn't before. Two, LOTS of people who live in the Seattle area are Japanese or have friends or family members in Japan. In my humble circle, I knew about 8 people this week who were waiting anxiously to hear if their loved ones in Japan were okay. One of those people was my boss, whose significant other was stuck in Tokyo for most of this time. Lastly, I live in a highly geologically sensitive area - I don't think I have to tell you how perfectly poised Seattle, Washington is for earthquakes and volcanic eruptions - so it doesn't seem so impossible that something like this could happen a little closer to home. Or AT home.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not suddenly afraid to live in Seattle because of the situation in Japan. But it's a lot harder to focus on other things while this is going on than maybe it might have been if I still lived in North Carolina. 

Like everyone else in the world, my heart goes out to the people of Japan, and I'll be watching with hope that people are found, homes are rebuilt and this nuclear situation is resolved quickly.

If you haven't seen this video yet, please take a few minutes to watch. It's pretty scary stuff, but also, pretty amazing. The power of our planet never ceases to terrify and astound me.

On a superfluous and deeply selfish note (cue the first-world problems), may I just say that with my last two moves, to North Carolina and to Washington, I've said, "Hey! Now I live close enough to visit New Orleans!" and "Hey! Now it'll be cheaper to finally fly to Tokyo!" And both times, natural disasters struck. I've been all over the country, but not to New Orleans, and I'm guessing Japan's not happening anytime soon, either. Maybe this is yet another sign I need to quit moving!

It sounds rather agreeable...

Tomorrow night, Jay and I are heading to a dinner party hosted by my friend Brigette and her husband. Two other couples will also be in attendance. The plan is that, after the meal, the guys will play poker while we ladies have a stitch 'n bitch; all four of us are knitters and we regularly meet up to chat and knit and sip coffee or tea. Also, I'm told there will be gin and tonics. Sounds pretty great, right? (The answer is yes.)

I was describing this get-together to a friend today and I realized, with great amusement, that the evening sounded a lot like the sort of parties you'd read about in a Jane Austen novel. You know, a bunch of friends gather for a meal and follow that up with several droll activities - perhaps the ladies take turn playing the pianoforte for the amusement of the others, or there's a card game for the men while the women gossip. Y'all know how much I love me some Jane Austen, so I can't say that I wasn't DELIGHTED at the realization that my Saturday evening would include a Jane-approved dose of the droll.

On a whim, I did a Google search for Jane Austen Dinner Party - and, as luck would have it, I got several results, the most intriguing of which was the Jane Austen Dinner Party Mystery Game. Holy bajesus, people! Where do I sign up?! I want to host one of these RIGHT NOW! The description reads:

Travel back in time to Regency England 1814. A time of stark contrasts, and of gossip and scandal. A crime of great proportions has rocked Rosings Park. As one of Jane Austen's beloved characters  you are a guest of the estate. Tonight all will be revealed. Once the perpetrator is discovered he/she will certainly be ousted from good society if not run out of town! The details are forthcoming, as well as clues revealed. Things are not what they seem, even the lady Catherine's not above suspicion!  Game for ten players.

WELL! I don't know what YOUR idea of a rockin' Saturday night is, but me? IT'S THIS. Secret letters and documents? 1814 wine labels? Cucumber sandwiches? SIGN ME UP!

And yes, I'm an 80 year old in a 30 year old's body. Don't worry, the tea would ABSOLUTELY be spiked.

On democracy.

I was a bad girl this year and I waited till the last minute to vote. In Washington, we all do mail-in ballots, so I got my materials in the mail several weeks ago...and then they sat collecting dust on the couch in my craft den, unloved, unread. I don't know why I put it off for so long, but I did. Whatever, I've been busy. I have crossed the country four times since July, and I've been sick twice now. Who has time to research?

Ahem...most of America, apparently, judging by the shit-tastic turnout yesterday at the polls. What is UP with that, America? I tweeted this earlier, but the thing that grinds my gears more than anything about this election season isn't who won or lost yesterday, or how many Republicans now make up the Congress versus Democrats, it's the number of people who came out to vote in 2008 and for whatever reason couldn't be bothered to do so yesterday.

According to Michael Tomasky, 45 million people who voted in 2008 didn't show up to do so yesterday. That's INSANE. 

What is it about the Americans that makes us think it's totally fine to only give a damn about government when it's a presidential election at stake? Why is it that we repeatedly hang all of our hopes and cares on the shoulders of one human being, like some superstar can come along and erase all of our problems and put more money in our pockets? I've got news for you - that stuff has to start right in your own backyard, in your own town. If you're ignoring your local issues, you have no right to complain about anything going on in this country. Or the world. 

Everyone who reads this blog knows I voted for Obama, and most of you know I still support him. Has he made good on all his promises? No. But I am stumped as to why anyone thought he WOULD make good on all those promises. It was an election. It's like an elaborate stage show, where people put on costumes and use lots of smoke and mirrors and Auto Tuners to make everything seem sparkly and awesome. I do think Obama looked and sounded pretty good, but I was aware of what the problems were in this country and I was under no illusion that he would be able to fix all or even most of it. And CERTAINLY not in 2 years, or 4 years for that matter. It's crazy-talk.

I would like to thank my friend Martha and her friends on Facebook, though, for posting several articles this week about why we should still be rooting for our president. You can read them here, here and here. It's good to take stock of the things he's doing RIGHT, because we all know all the things that aren't going so great.

So anyway, I just needed to vent - to all the people who stayed home yesterday, shame on you. Shame on you for not taking the time to care about what happens in your city, your state, or this country.

And to all the people who DID vote but can't even begin to tell me what they voted for, EVEN MORE SHAME. It's the only thing you can do that's worse than staying home.

I do want to share a little happy moment from this week. On Monday night, as I was filling out my ballot (post marked by Tuesday, thank you very much, so it was on time), Jay and I were reviewing Washington State Initiative 1098 (read about here, scroll down), which concerns establishing a state income tax and lowering other taxes*. According to this proposed initiative, the state of Washington, which currently charges its residents no income tax, would require those who make more than $200k per year to begin paying income tax. This was a pretty hot topic around here, as you can imagine in a poor economy. 

Jay voted against the initiative, even though he wouldn't be affected by it, as he isn't in the $200k + income bracket. His thoughts are that if it starts with the wealthy, pretty soon everyone will be taxed. And he's probably right. I decided to vote in favor of the initiative, because as much as I enjoy not having to pay any taxes and having a larger paycheck, I believe that it should be the responsibility of all people to pay taxes in order to contribute to the betterment of our state. I actually think that everyone should have to pay taxes unless they fall below the poverty line, but that everyone should pay an amount that correlates in some fair way to the amount they earn (those who make more should pay more).

Jay and I clearly disagree on this issue, but I have to say, it was pretty cool to sit there with him and talk about it, not fight, but each share our concerns about the initiative, and in the end each mark different boxes on our ballots. Because THAT is what democracy is all about. We live in a country where we don't have to agree, and each one of us is given a voice. Not to use our voices is just such a waste of the extreme privilege we still enjoy in this country, and it is an insult to those who aren't granted the same freedom, whose voices aren't heard.

* For the record, the initiative was voted down.

Grunge gods.

Lately Jay and I have been listening to 90's music a lot. There's a station on our DirecTV streaming radio called Reality Bites, and it plays an endless stream of 90's awesomeness: Nirvana, Oasis, Green Day, Pearl Jam, Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, Ani DiFranco, Stone Temple Pilots, Collective Soul, The Gin Blossoms, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Weezer, Radiohead...everything I loved from ages 10-20. It is magical and great.

I was saying to Jay last night that moving to Seattle has sort of reignited my love of grunge and post-grunge rock music. How can you be in Seattle and not feel like listening to the 90s? Seriously, I can basically hear the opening strains of Smells Like Teen Spirit when I walk down a gritty Seattle street. And the city doesn't seem to mind playing up its musical roots either - I hear plenty of Pearl Jam and Nirvana on KEXP. 

You know how when we were kids, we listened to our parents drone on about the music of their youth? They probably still do. In my house, it was a combo of hippie folk and rock artists like The Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Janis Joplin and the like, bluesier artists and singer-songwriters like Roy Orbison, Elton John, Cat Stevens, Simon & Garfunkel and James Taylor, motown and 50's pop. 

It occurred to me last night that Jay will be boring our kids to tears talking about seeing REM at Madison Square Garden in 1995 or the two of us laughing over old re-runs of Beavis and Butthead and trying to demonstrate headbanging. How will we ever explain how much we cried over the death of Kurt Cobain in the spring of '94? I remember some girls wore Kurt shirts for weeks and were officially in mourning.

Or for that matter, how are we going to explain MTV? Seriously, that was the stuff back in my day. You didn't just listen to music, you turned on the tube so you could SEE your favorite rock lords in all their freaky video glory. I know people still make music videos, but you rarely see them anymore unless you're really into a band and seek them out. When's the last time you watched a Nine Inch Nails video? That shit is just as creepy as you remember. Thanks to the magic of YouTube, we can travel back in time a little bit.

On the eve of turning 30 (!) I've really been reminiscing about the music I grew up with. Songs I was sick to death of sound sweet again. And so, a few of my fave video moments from the grunge era for your enjoyment...I still vote Gavin Rossdale World's Hottest Lead Singer From the 90's, but I'm up for debate on that. Later this week I'll throw some 90's chicks up here for y'all as well.

Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
Nevermind, 1991


Bush - "Come Down"
Sixteen Stone, 1994


Pearl Jam - "Jeremy"
Ten, 1991


Stone Temple Pilots - "Plush" (as performed on MTV Unplugged)
Core, 1992


I could go on and on, but some vids can't be embedded (Radiohead "Creep" - watch it!). Help me walk down memory lane! What are your favorites from the 90's?

WARSZAWA!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to POLAND! Warsaw (pronounce it right), to be exact.

Why, you might wonder? My husband works for a big company based in Sweden. They do business all over the world, and every year they have a world communications meeting in a major city, alternating continents to make it fair and fun for their employees who are traveling from around the globe. Spouses are allowed and encouraged to come along. Last year the meeting was in New York. This year - in March - it'll be in Warsaw.

At first, we heard the meeting might take place in Helsinki, Stockholm, London or Prague. Awesome - I would have absolutely loved traveling to any of those places. My husband's already been to Helsinki and Stockholm, so I know how great they are. I got to travel to London last year, so that's an obvious win. And Prague? Well, that's just cool.

So when I heard earlier this week that it was maybe going to be in Warsaw, I admit I was a bit stumped. I thought the same thing you're probably thinking right now. Poland?! Warsaw?! REALLY?! If you're anything like me, the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Warsaw is this:

Or maybe this:

 

Or perhaps even this:

 

I'm pretty well-studied on World War II. I even took a course specifically about the Holocaust in college. When I think of Poland, I think of ghettos, uprisings, concentration camps, bombings and thousands upon thousands of people starved, enslaved, beaten and killed. Warsaw doesn't exactly evoke thoughts of holiday at first - in fact, the entire city was destroyed near the end of the war.

But you know what? I love to travel. And I love history. And I'd basically decided that I was going with Jay no matter where the meeting ended up taking place. So when I heard Warsaw, I pushed aside the obvious thoughts of war and devastation and I got online to do some research. Fortunately, I have a very dear friend (hi, Kari!) who spend a good chunk of time living in Poland a few years ago, and I knew I could count on her as a great resource. And you know what? It only took about 30 minutes for me to get TOTALLY excited about the prospect of exploring "Warszawa," Poland. 

 

 

 

Isn't it neat-looking?

What's likely to happen is that I'll be in Warsaw with Jay while he has meetings, but before, after or both we'll be checking out some other spots - Krakow is high on my list. I KNOW - you think it's depressing. But it's not! Check it.

 

 

See? Krakow is totally adorable! Squee!

Or how about Torun - a medieval village that's, according to Kari, the "gingerbread capitol of Europe." MAJOR DRAW.

So here's what I have to say to the naysayers: I think if a person has the opportunity to travel, she should do it. I want to see the world - as much of it as possible. There's almost nowhere I would refuse to go - basically only the most dangerous spots on the globe, places where I'm likely to die from an exploding car bomb or the like. And what's awesome is this. If you asked me, "What are the top 10 places you want to visit," Poland wouldn't have been on the list. It wouldn't have been on the top 20. But that's really only because I don't know much about it post-WW2 - which means I really don't know it at all.

But a couple of days' research has convinced me there's a LOT of neat stuff in Poland and seeing it can only make me a smarter, more interesting person. And I don't think a person should ever pass up a chance to become more interesting.

So - I'm going to Poland. In March. And possibly to a couple of other places along the way. Unless Jay's company changes course and we end up going to Helsinki after all. Either way, I'm pumped.

Robbed!

Americans woke up today and shit themselves over the shocking announcement that President Barack Obama, socialist, gun-thief and closet Muslim terrorist, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.*

(Wouldja look at that sinister face?)

"How can this be?!" cried the conservative right wing. "My kids are going to spend the next 500 years paying off the debt Obama has created! Not to mention the fact that he's gonna steal my cash and give it to the poor! Why should I help those lazy slackers who refuse to get jobs! And Obama's gonna take my guns! This is an outrage!"

Even the psychotic, socialist left-wing Obama supporters were forced to shake their heads in dismay, saying, "He hasn't DONE anything yet! Couldn't they have waited till AFTER he donned his red cape and saved the world from its certain demise?" And they might have a point. Lots of people feel like a Peace Prize should be rewarded for actions completed, not actions contemplated. But Nobel has lately been loving those who are trying to change the international climate - remember Al Gore?

Rather than waste time contemplating the reasons why Obama may have gotten his precious prize (like his giant steps forward in international relations, leading by example with a great attitude and open mind, level-headed dealings with Iran and forward-thinking plans for the future, not to mention the spike in approval ratings around the globe), let's get back on track. I think we're all missing the point here. The Nobel Prize people missed a brilliant opportunity this morning.

If they REALLY wanted to piss off the conservative right and get major air time on Fox News, they should have handed the peace prize to Bill Clinton!

If what everyone wants in a Peace Prize recipient is action, well then Bill's your guy! He DID rescue two innocent women from the evil clutches of a North Korean POW camp and bring them home safely to their families, right? So no one could say he didn't DO anything. And let's face it - without Bill there'd be no Barry. Ask any right-winger - Bill is the root of all evil. So it makes perfect sense to me that HE should have been awarded the Peace Prize, since the Nobel peeps clearly choose their winners based on what will make Rush Limbaugh foam at the mouth. Am I right, fellas?

Already the troops are calling for Barack to decline this falsely awarded honor - as well they should! Waiting in the wings is our TRUE Hero and Savior, the TRUE King of Socialism and Gun-Thievery, Lord of Healthcare Torture and Murderer of Christianity in America, Bill Clinton!

He wears his evil like a well-tailored suit.

*In all seriousness - congratulations to President Obama for what I feel is a great honor. He may not be far along in his presidency, but he absolutely has raised the bar for world-class efforts in foreign relations. He sets a wonderful example for the rest of humankind about tolerance, kindness and open-hearted empathy. This is a tough time to be president - anyone who took the job would have faced the same struggles, impossible situations and tough decisions, and I am confident that even though things look bleak, we chose the right person for the job. He still has a lot of work to do, so if he declines the award, I wouldn't blame him - but if he keeps it, I won't fault him for that either.

And congratulations too to Bill Clinton, who truly is an outstanding public servant and a badass motherfucker. I love you both!

All we need is just a little patience...

Thank you, Axl.

I haven't been talking about politics lately. Not here. I bitch about things at home, but for the most part I've been enjoying the fact that we have a thoughtful, articulate and intelligent president who can form complete sentences. And who seems to be trying to do the right thing. But my temperature is rising.

I logged in to AIM this morning and my Dashboard news popped up the following inane report on Barack Obama's slipping poll numbers. I call it inane because 1) all presidents' poll numbers slip after they spend a few months in office and 2) it doesn't matter what the poll numbers are because it's not an election year. It's just the media once again trying to make hype so people will tune in to their stations and have their minds numbed.

But I digress.

I have been bubbling with irritation for months and months now while doing a lot of reading and a lot of news-following. I have absolutely had it with all the "Rate Obama's first 100 days!" and "Rate Obama's first 200 days!" stories and discussions and panels. Friends - it's too soon to grade his performance. Chill out!

I know you all think I'm just a bleeding liberal and I'll blindly follow my leader like a sheep, but that's not the case. There are things that Obama has done so far that I'm disappointed in - but that would be true of anyone in office, because no president can make me happy 100% of the time, let alone make the whole COUNTRY happy. It's just not possible. He's no Mary Poppins! He can't just snap his fingers and fix it all! (Oh, but if he could!)

I wish Obama had asked for a higher stimulus package - I think, contrary to most Americans, that it wasn't big enough. I wish he would stand up for gay marriage. I wish he would close Guantanamo RIGHT NOW. But I still trust him to get the job done in the way that's best for the most people - because it's not about me. I wish people could understand that. It's not about ME PERSONALLY. It's about what's best for the country, and you know what? I have no clue what the answers are, so I'm willing to sit back for a while and give the man a little time to figure things out. The terrible economy was going to bitch slap us no matter who was president or how big the stimulus was. We are paying the price for YEARS of irresponsibility, and to expect anyone to be able to clean up a mess that's been 20 years in the making in 100 or 200 or 500 days is just insane.

Stop whining. Stop freaking out. It's FINE. Lots of good things are happening. We voted for change, and it's in the works. Have a little trust, have a little patience, and for god's sake, enjoy the part where your president isn't spending months on vacation shootin' stuff all the time, but actually WORKING.

I really, really respect the opinions of Paul Krugman - and before you start telling me how he's published in Rolling Stone and the New York Times, two uber-liberal platforms, let me remind you he won the Nobel Prize for economics, so I'm pretty sure he has a better idea of what he's talking about than you or I do. This article in particular from the March issue of Rolling Stone really makes a lot of great points.

My frustrations in a nutshell, and then I'll shut up for a few more months:

• I think we desperately need health care reform, and I hope that it passes, and I think people should do some research - most of the fears people have around this issue are ludicrous. No one is going to have to pay MORE. No one is going to be left for dead. And let's realize that those are the PRESENT conditions, so what we're trying to do is make it better for more people. And you know what, if health insurance cost me $20 more bucks a month but that $20 made it possible for someone else to go to the doctor, I would be okay with that. I have no tolerance on this issue. If you cannot see that our current system is shoddy, you are blind. If you are not willing to CONSIDER something new, you are selfish. There are people out there dying because they can't get in front of a doctor, and it is our duty as a country to fix that. Even if it DID mean those of us with money had to pay a little bit more. I've said this before, and I will keep saying it - TAX ME. GO AHEAD. TAKE MY MONEY. Most of the time, I'm pretty damn selfish, so if I can help others, BY ALL MEANS. Who am I to bitch, when I'm fortunate enough to have a nice life? And if I lost it all, I would hope someone else would feel the same way and want to help me.
• The GOP has got to stop being so unhelpful. Seriously, if they want to turn their party around, they need to cooperate and work together with democrats and independents to make change happen, not stubbornly block the road. It's getting ridiculous.
• People need to own their part in this destroyed economy and stop expecting our president to make magical changes in 1/25th of the time it took to create the mess. Start saving your money. Stop being irresponsible and racking up debt. And if you want things to be different, pay attention to YOUR LOCAL AND STATE GOVERNMENT because that's the best way you can bring change around. Don't hate the president - pressure your state representatives and congressmen and senators to do what's best for your state.
• I don't want to hear ANY MORE about how Obama is a socialist. SERIOUSLY. Someday I'm going to write a whole diatribe about socialism. GO READ ABOUT SWEDEN, PEOPLE. It looks PRETTY DAMN GOOD TO ME. We are NOT a socialist country, so SHUT UP!
• The media needs to re-learn what it is to report and stop airing 24 hours of opinion.

Change doesn't happen over night. Change takes time. And meanwhile, there's vodka.

There. I'm done. I'm getting off my soap box for a while.

PS - My husband wrote a really great post about the media, healthcare and all the rest - it's far more eloquent than this and I think you should read it.

Remembering a legend.

As everyone knows by now, we lost Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson (!!!) this week. What a huge chunk of Gen X's childhood to lose all at once. Ed was a household name, Farrah's hair was legendary and Michael changed the face of pop music forever.

I know it's kinda crass, but I'm really only sad about Michael - as troubled as the past 15 years have been for him, I didn't see that coming. At least Ed lived to be an old man. Farrah's death put an end to a long and painful battle with cancer. But Michael Jackson's heart stopped yesterday and it shocked the world.

What makes me sad is that because Michael got SO weird in the latter part of his life - financial and legal battles that obliterated most of his wealth and rumors and allegations of child abuse and molestation - many of us who "knew him when" have forgotten his former cool factor. And younger generations don't even realize how badass he was. Sure, everyone likes his tunes still, but most would ultimately categorize him as a freak.

And yes, Michael Jackson was a weird, freakish man. But I feel sorry for him. I think his story is tragic, and I think most of his problems can be attributed to a childhood spent almost entirely in show business - he really didn't have a childhood at all. It was spent singing for people in bars and nightclubs, and then the Jackson 5 exploded to fame and all the pressure was on Michael to lead the way. That's a lot for any kid to take.

In my opinion, Michael formed unhealthy relationships with children because they represented a purity and innocence that he never was able to experience. I believe Michael went to such drastic measures to change his appearance because he didn't know who he was. Even as far back as the Bad and Thriller albums he'd had a lot of plastic surgery. By the time Dangerous came out, he no longer resembled his childhood self. In the past ten years, I think I speak for most people when I say I couldn't bear to look at him.

But regardless of his personal battles, Michael Jackson changed the face of pop music worldwide. He was one of the most gifted performers ever to walk across a stage, and 25 years later his songs and his music videos are still completely awesome and cutting edge. One of my very first memories is of my mom watching the Thriller video in our house in Michigan - I couldn't have  been more than three - and I absolutely loved the music but the monsters scared me so I would hide behind the chair and just peek out intermittently. That's my first musical memory, and it completely shaped my musical taste.

I hope that the world will join me in choosing to remember Michael for his talent and his vibrant energy as a performer and not for his dark, troubled personal life. I'm going to remember him like this:

and this:

and maybe a little bit of this:

Rest in peace, MJ.

I hate hate (and Miss California).

I had planned to write a seething diatribe about the swine flu outbreak, but I'm all swine flu-ed out. Instead, I'll focus my seething diatribe on Miss California Carrie Prejean.

You've probably heard the news by now - that in response to an interview question from Perez Hilton amidst the Miss USA pageantry, Prejean denounced gay marriage. Sadly for America, Prejean's 15 minutes of fame have seemingly been extended to at least 20, as the National Organization for Marriage has placed Prejean in an anti-gay marriage ad. EW did a nice little piece about Prejean's interview with Fox News' Greta Van Susteren - read it and weep.

If you are still living in such a state of ignorance that you REALLY have a problem with gay marriage, fine. Fine. I'm not gonna argue with you. I'm all argued out. You can think whatever you want to think. You really think Jesus hates the gays? That's your issue. I think Jesus loves the gays just fine, and Jesus would say "Mind your own business, you ignorant jerks."

But to participate in a campaign opposing gay marriage is not just ignorant, it's hateful. Miss California is an agent of hate. And if she's using this as a way to extend her fame, that just makes her even more of a canker sore on the mouth of humanity.

Sometimes, I like to daydream about a day, in the (hopefully) not-too-distant future, when all of this will be just a memory. You know, when we as a society will have grown up and learned to pee in the toilet instead of our shorts and finally realize that intolerance is unacceptable, that being black or white or gay or straight or Christian or Muslim doesn't matter, that only being HUMAN matters. And the new, improved humans will look back on their former hateful, ignorant incarnations and hang their heads in shame and say, "What were we THINKING?" And if you don't think that day will come, you're blind.

So to all of you out there who are feeling oppressed, whether it's because of your religion or your color or your sexuality or what kind of toppings you like on your pizza, hang in there. I'm sure our grandparents never thought they'd live to see a black president elected in this country, and I truly hope that our children will grow up to raise kids who can marry whoever they want, wherever they want, whenever they want with no notion that anything less was ever the norm.

Dead, dead, dead.

For the past couple of weeks, Jay and I have been marathoning our way through the first two seasons of The Tudors in order to get caught up in time for the upcoming third season on Showtime. Have you seen this show? You NEED to watch it. Seriously. You will love it, regardless of how much of a history buff you are or are not. It's violent (beheadings! torture!), sexy (basically soft-core porn) and elaborate. Not to mention the hotness of the cast - I cannot think of a show with more gorgeous people on it. And they're good actors to boot. And if all that didn't sell you on it - it has Peter O'Toole! As the POPE!!! What are you waiting for?

Peter O'Toole. Is. Awesome.

I guess Peter O'Toole doesn't really convey hot steamy sex. Sorry about that.

That's better.

So anyway, we have been watching several episodes in a sitting, and then I inevitably go to bed and have nightmares about Tudor England and being forced to marry some ugly old man with an open, seeping wound and then being tossed in the Tower of London and left there with the rats. It's awesome.

One of the best things about the show is how they depict Henry's slow downward spiral into complete and utter psychosis. You know he's not a very nice guy when he unseats his wife, Catherine of Aragon, to marry Anne Boleyn, but by the end of the second season when Anne's about to get the axe, you're actually feeling sorry for her and terrified of Henry, who is clearly NUTS. Sorry for Anne Boleyn - what a concept! But you do, because the writers do a great job showing her progression as her motivations shift from family ambition to love for Henry to absolute fear and desperation.

Which brings me to my observation about Henry VIII, and I hope you'll indulge me a little Tudor history here. These women - these wives of Henry? Not so smart. As season 2 is winding down, Jane Seymour is on the scene and I'm forced to ask myself, what's wrong with this woman? She cannot be very intelligent if she doesn't experience pants-shitting terror in the presence of ol' Henry. How did these women not seem to entertain the notion that they might be, you know, dead if they married this dude? Anne of Cleves was the only one who seemed appropriately nervous about her husband, and you'll note that caution paid off for her, as Henry allowed her to live when he got sick of her.

I mean, think about it for a second. You're a princess somewhere in, say, Germany or something. And you get a phone call - or parchment scroll, or whatever - and it's from some Duke of Sorescrotum in the shire of North Bumblestump, England or what have you on behalf of Henry VIII, wanting to know if you'd be interested in getting married. To Henry. And you'll be wife number five or something. I don't know about you, but my reaction would surely not be, "Why, yes, that sounds lovely. I'll pack my things immediately." It would be more along the lines of, "Aaw, HELL no, beeyotch!" And I don't care if I had some grumbly, overambitious father who wanted me to bring power and riches to the family. I'd skip town, enter a convent - ANYTHING. I'm just sayin'.

Watch The Tudors. It rules.

That's Jane Seymour. She's gonna die. Soon.