Elegantly Random

Mad at Maine.

I'm really pissed off at Maine.

Six months ago, the state of Maine passed a bill that would allow gay marriage. Yesterday, the voters of Maine headed to the polls to make sure that wouldn't come to pass, and they succeeded. The law was rejected. This follows a similar incident last fall in California, when voters in that state passed Proposition 8 banning gay marriage. As in Maine, the state's decision was overridden by the public at the polls.

I'm not gay. I don't have any family members who are gay. But to me, this issue cuts straight to the heart of human rights and human decency. Who am I, who is anyone, to say some humans should be denied fundamental rights? This isn't a question of religion - it's a question of humanity. And sometimes it is the role of the law to make decisions on behalf of citizens. I know, I know - government intervention is evil. But the general population doesn't always get it right. If government hadn't ever intervened, how long might it have taken for people to opt via general election to grant women or black citizens their basic human rights?

I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase "tyranny of the majority" - and if you haven't, take heed. The basic idea is that, left to their own devices, the majority will gang up on the minority and the minority will lose. But the majority isn't always right (i.e. CIVIL RIGHTS). And sometimes it is the DUTY, yes the DUTY of those in charge to stand up for the little guy.

And right now, gay and lesbian citizens are the little guy. Here's a fantastic argument for why the right to a civil union should never even have been on a ballot to begin with.

Some of you have heard me talk about a certain friend who has not once, but TWICE de-friended me on social media sites for making political comments. More than 100% of participants in a recent poll on my Facebook page concluded that de-friending someone for speaking up is LAMER THAN LAME. The first time it happened, I was really crushed. The second time, I didn't care.

Last year, during the presidential election, some things came to the surface with a black man and a woman running for president that just sickened me. Issues were stirred up that I hadn't had to deal with among friends before. And I had a sort of personal epiphany. While I absolutely respect that some people's views won't line up with mine, and I am fine with that, I'm no longer going to give hate a free pass.

What I mean is this. If you truly believe that gay marriage is evil, that gay people are going to hell, then fine. I'm not going to try and change your mind. I think you're wrong, but I'm not going to argue with you. You are entitled to think that. But the minute you cross the line from "I personally think this is wrong" to "I am going to vote to remove someone's rights," I'm done. Go ahead and think gay marriage is evil - you have fun with all that hatred. It's probably exhausting. But if you voted against gay marriage, you are hateful.

HATEFUL.

Because who CARES? Why does it matter to you if your neighbor is gay and gets married? It changes NOTHING about your life. But your vote absolutely changes your neighbor's life. Who are you to say, to judge? What's the big deal? Are you scared your kid is going to go to school with a kid who's got gay parents? And they're going to hang out and your kid is gonna TURN GAY? Get a grip! This is the world we live in - gay people are people too. 

Should I have been denied marriage because I married a Jew, or he married me? Because it's the same thing. Should black people still be sitting at the back of the bus? Should women still be denied the right to vote?

This has nothing to do with religion. It has to do with ignorance, fear and hate. And I'm not going to stand for it. I can't force people to wake up and become better people. But I can call it like I see it. Hate. If you don't want to marry a gay couple in your church, don't - but there's NO REASON I can see to deny them a civil ceremony and the same basic rights as any heterosexual, committed couple.

And one more thing - this whole notion of tolerance? That has to go. Tolerance doesn't help. Acceptance helps. Don't just deign to tolerate those who are different from you - accept them. Open your heart, accept it and MOVE ON.

From now on, anyone who moves to strip a person's rights as a human or to prevent them from gaining basic human rights that have previously been denied them is a HATEFUL person. There's no sugar-coating that. You do your thing, I'll do mine - but don't take my right to my thing away from me. Not till I've hurt or killed someone should I EVER have to worry about my rights being taken from me. And having your kid exposed to gayness, or having to work with a gay person is absolutely not murder or hurt. It's REAL LIFE. THIS IS THE REAL WORLD - join it ANY TIME. You can keep voting it down, but it's not going away.

One big headache.

Happy 3 year anniversary to me! Woot! Jay is awesome and I'm so lucky and made of win!

Aside from the joy of the anniversary though, I must share with you the blood-boiling experience I just had at the eye doctor. Yes, the EYE doctor. Usually the least invasive and uncomfortable doctor's experience one can have, but today, a SHINING example of the problems with our current health care system and a complete waste of my precious time and cash.

When I was in junior high, I started getting headaches almost daily, and after a time my mom hauled me to the eye doctor. I could see just fine, in fact my vision was (and still is) basically perfect, but I was getting headaches from reading the blackboard or the overhead projectors used in class. The eye doctor determined that I have astigmatism, which basically means that your cornea is abnormally curved and that it is hard for the eye to focus and read small details, up close or at a distance. He prescribed me a special lens that corrects that curve so that my eyes would relax and I wouldn't get headaches. And it worked!

Over the years, I have had three different prescriptions for astigmatism. The last one was issued to me in 2004, shortly before I moved to North Carolina. At that time, the doctor informed me that cases like mine are very tough to prescribe, because I do have good vision and I don't need any magnification, I only need curvatures to ease the process of focusing on objects. He told me to use the glasses when I'm reading, using a computer, watching anything on a screen in the dark or whenever I'm exhausted. And I did.

But when you can see, it's easy to get lazy about wearing your  glasses, so I can be lax about it sometimes. I mostly only wear my glasses when I'm tired or if I already have a headache. Not good. Lately, I've been having really severe headaches almost daily, and since I haven't been to the eye doctor since 2004, I thought I should go.

SO! I went. And I was excited about it! At 1:00 I drove the five miles to the clinic, recommended to me by several trusty coworkers. I figured I'd just grab a sandwich after my visit.

I arrived at 1:10. I was at the clinic until 3:45.

During my visit, I saw three different technicians. They measured my current glasses to find their prescription, performed a series of vision tests on me without giving me any indication how I did, and put various burning drops in my eyes to dilate them. I never was tested for glaucoma, which I cannot understand.

After seeing three technicians, it was 2:15. After an hour at my primary care physician, I'm almost always finished with the visit, which usually includes blood work and about 15 minutes with my awesome doctor. But today, at the eye doctor, after an hour of unexplained testing, I was put in a cold room to wait for my doctor. And wait I did - for more than 45 minutes.

When the doctor came in, after 3 p.m., he was absolutely not in any way hospitable or friendly. He shook my hand abruptly and then launched right into questioning me about my headaches, with zero chit-chat or even friendly eye contact. He didn't even MAKE eye contact with me. He also yawned the entire time. He then performed a series of light tests on my eyes, then abruptly flicked the lights back on.

Dr. Shithead: Sarah, I see nothing wrong with your eyes. I cannot see any evidence that your headaches are vision related. I do not see a need to write you a new prescription. Your vision is actually very good, and I don't think you should continue wearing your glasses because they don't seem to be doing anything for you. If you have no further questions, then you won't need another exam for two years. *dismissive look*

Me: So the glasses I'm wearing currently - they aren't treating any symptoms in my eyes? Don't they contain a prescription?

Dr. Shithead: Yes, your current prescription addresses your astigmatism.

Me: Then...are you saying I no longer have astigmatism? And I don't need a corrective prescription?

Dr. Shithead: The headaches you are experiencing are probably due to fatigue. You should remember to take breaks at work, get up from your computer now and then, give your eyes a break. Unless your symptoms worsen.

Me: But doctor, I have had a headache every single day for the past three weeks, and frequently for the past couple of months. And I do take breaks at work.

Dr. Shithead: If you contact your primary care physician, and tell them that I see nothing in your eye exam, they can do further tests to explore the issue. But I see nothing in this exam to indicate that your headaches are eye-related.

(Pause here. Astigmatism absolutely causes headaches and fatigue. And he really didn't clarify if I still have it - which one would assume I do, because I'm pretty sure your cornea can't magically un-curve itself).

Dr. Shithead: If that's all your questions, then I'll give you a copy of my information *hands me his resume* and ask you to remind your friends and family of the importance of eye care. *hands me a stack of his cards* Have a nice day. *leaves without shaking hands*

The man was telling me (in the total four minutes he deigned to spend with me) that I have near-perfect vision (which I already knew, since I've never had to wear my glasses to pass an eye exam) and that he has no idea why I'm having headaches and to cease wearing corrective lenses for astigmatism, even though I've been doing so for 15 years.

...

WHAT?!

So, I was furious by this point - literally shaking. Did I mention it was now well past 3 o'clock? I went to the reception desk and was asked to pay my $50 copay. Sheesh. I hand over my debit card, still trying to make sense of the rudest doctor in the world and the fact that I basically wasted two and a half hours of my life and 50 bucks to be told basically nothing and given what I'm pretty sure is a bad set of directions.

I felt uneasy. So I asked the receptionist if she could please give me a copy of the reading of my current prescription that the first technician had done. I explained I didn't receive a new prescription, but I would like to know what my previous one was. She went to take care of it. While I was waiting, some other woman, probably the woman in charge of reception, came along and asked me what I was waiting for. I told her. She then went off to take care of it, clearly in a huff at the busy desk situation. She came back and said to me, "I can't give you an RX today because they didn't give you one."

Me: I KNOW they didn't. What I want is a copy of the CURRENT prescription - the glasses I have now.

Obnoxious Reception Manager: The doctor's recommendation is that you stop wearing your glasses.

Me: *totally fed up* Yes, I know. But you see, ma'am, I have been wearing glasses for the past 15 years and I have previously been diagnosed with astigmatism. And I would like to know what my current prescription is for my records.

Obnoxious Reception Manager: Well, it's right here, and if you'll look at this page...

Me: I cannot read that page because of the dilation.

Obnoxious Reception Manager: When your eyes settle down, you'll see that your prescription is this and your reading today is actually an improvement in some areas. So that's a great thing, and you don't need to wear your glasses or you'll become dependent on them.

.......

Me: Well, the doctor didn't explain anything to me about this.

Obnoxious Reception Manager (who is realizing how pissed off I am and that I have had a shitty, shitty experience): *suddenly much warmer* Oh, well if you had a bad experience today, if your personality didn't mesh with the doctor, don't be discouraged - when you come back in two years, you can meet with a different doctor.

Right. SO when she figured out I was mad, she starts trying to sell me on my next visit by telling me I can see someone else - IN TWO YEARS. Because lord knows I'm not going to want to pay for another visit this year - my insurance only covers on a year. I've just wasted my time on this total jerk of a doctor who is telling me not to wear my glasses because my vision is fine, but not even addressing the fact that I have astigmatism which may be contributing to my discomfort, and perhaps IT has worsened even though my vision has not.

My question is - do I not have it anymore? He didn't answer that. Mild astigmatism doesn't always require corrective lenses, but if I don't need them anymore, after 15 years, he should explain to me, in detail, why that is. If you do ANYTHING for years, and someone tells you you don't need to anymore, most people want to know HOW that miracle occurred. Did my prescription help me and right now my eyes are better? I don't know. I have no answers, and I still have headaches.

So. In summary. I spent hours and hours at the doctor. The people who treated me were abrupt and hurried. The doctor I saw was busy, tired and inattentive, had no bedside manor, did not answer my questions or help me diagnose my problem, and was downright rude and dismissive. The staff was overworked, frenzied and also sort of rude. I had to pay a $50 copay, which is actually sort of a lot of money if you think about it, and my insurance will likely not cover the entire visit, so I'll be issued a bill in the mail. And since I had no luck at the visit, if I want more help or a second opinion before I toss 15 years of optical opinions and prescriptions out the window, I have to fork over my own cash - probably a LOT of my own cash - to cover the cost, because my insurance plan only allows me $250/year for optical care - which barely covers one visit.

Awesome.

Our health care system sucks. Imagine if I had had the same experience, but with a more serious issue, like, say, BREAST CANCER. Because that's absolutely happening to a ton of people today. They're going in to talk about their BREAST CANCER and being treated the way I was, or worse, getting NO answers and having to hand over money they don't have to pay for the privilege.

For now, my plan is talk to one of the professors in our physician assistant program at work to get his opinion. And I'm also going to keep using my glasses, because I think this doctor was full of crap.

And also? I'm gonna eat cake and drink wine tonight with my husband, who doesn't suck.

Robbed!

Americans woke up today and shit themselves over the shocking announcement that President Barack Obama, socialist, gun-thief and closet Muslim terrorist, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.*

(Wouldja look at that sinister face?)

"How can this be?!" cried the conservative right wing. "My kids are going to spend the next 500 years paying off the debt Obama has created! Not to mention the fact that he's gonna steal my cash and give it to the poor! Why should I help those lazy slackers who refuse to get jobs! And Obama's gonna take my guns! This is an outrage!"

Even the psychotic, socialist left-wing Obama supporters were forced to shake their heads in dismay, saying, "He hasn't DONE anything yet! Couldn't they have waited till AFTER he donned his red cape and saved the world from its certain demise?" And they might have a point. Lots of people feel like a Peace Prize should be rewarded for actions completed, not actions contemplated. But Nobel has lately been loving those who are trying to change the international climate - remember Al Gore?

Rather than waste time contemplating the reasons why Obama may have gotten his precious prize (like his giant steps forward in international relations, leading by example with a great attitude and open mind, level-headed dealings with Iran and forward-thinking plans for the future, not to mention the spike in approval ratings around the globe), let's get back on track. I think we're all missing the point here. The Nobel Prize people missed a brilliant opportunity this morning.

If they REALLY wanted to piss off the conservative right and get major air time on Fox News, they should have handed the peace prize to Bill Clinton!

If what everyone wants in a Peace Prize recipient is action, well then Bill's your guy! He DID rescue two innocent women from the evil clutches of a North Korean POW camp and bring them home safely to their families, right? So no one could say he didn't DO anything. And let's face it - without Bill there'd be no Barry. Ask any right-winger - Bill is the root of all evil. So it makes perfect sense to me that HE should have been awarded the Peace Prize, since the Nobel peeps clearly choose their winners based on what will make Rush Limbaugh foam at the mouth. Am I right, fellas?

Already the troops are calling for Barack to decline this falsely awarded honor - as well they should! Waiting in the wings is our TRUE Hero and Savior, the TRUE King of Socialism and Gun-Thievery, Lord of Healthcare Torture and Murderer of Christianity in America, Bill Clinton!

He wears his evil like a well-tailored suit.

*In all seriousness - congratulations to President Obama for what I feel is a great honor. He may not be far along in his presidency, but he absolutely has raised the bar for world-class efforts in foreign relations. He sets a wonderful example for the rest of humankind about tolerance, kindness and open-hearted empathy. This is a tough time to be president - anyone who took the job would have faced the same struggles, impossible situations and tough decisions, and I am confident that even though things look bleak, we chose the right person for the job. He still has a lot of work to do, so if he declines the award, I wouldn't blame him - but if he keeps it, I won't fault him for that either.

And congratulations too to Bill Clinton, who truly is an outstanding public servant and a badass motherfucker. I love you both!

Pirates, sheep and atonement: an excuse.

I know it's been slow around here - and I've been making excuses for weeks. But SERIOUSLY! I have a good excuse! Several of them! And I actually have about four half-written posts saved that I just have to look something up for or come up with a witty comment or two and they'll be done and in your hot little faces! Which I realize is little consolation, but it's true! They're good posts, too! They even smell nice.

I'm rambling. I ramble when I'm nervous about losing my four readers.

Which leads me to another point, and I promise then I'll get to the excuses. I know that this blog gets a decent number of page views every day. More than you might guess. Recently, my friend Adaena wrote asking her readers to be more involved with her blog, and I'd like to ask the same of you. I've got several faithful commenters, but where are the rest of you? Lots of you leave me comments on Facebook, and that's nice and all - but I'd love for the comments on my blog to live at my blog, if at all possible, so that they can become a discussion, an interactive amusement for all to enjoy. And also so I can give you more of what you like to read! So if you're reading this, and you have thoughts, share them. On the comments section. Which should be open to all readers who want to post a comment. Thank you, and have a blessed day.

Ok, yeah, I didn't type that with a straight face. Don't have a blessed day. Have a nice day, and cap it off with a strongly mixed cocktail, mmkay?

And now, without further ado, I give you THE EXCUSES FOR WHY MY BLOG HAS BEEN BLANK!

Pirates have invaded.
It's true. For the past few weeks, I've been busy directing a children's show called Peggy the Pint-Sized Pirate at the university where I work. The cast is made up of college students - awesome college students who are smart and talented and a credit to their parents - and geared toward children. The performances are this weekend. If you're interested, send me an e-mail and I will provide you with a treasure map to the location!

Sheep have invaded.
Last weekend I attended a spinning workshop with four of my knitter-friends in the Raleigh area. You can read all about it on my side-blog, i make stuff. In case you haven't realized, over there in the left-hand column is a link to i make stuff, where I post about all my geeky, crafty hobbies. I stuck it all over there for the 99.999% of you who likely don't have much interest in knitting or jewelry making or whatever other oddball thing I get my hands on. But I'm learning to spin (as in fiber into yarn, not straw into gold - maybe later!) and I actually ordered a spinning wheel. Yes, it's true. Shush. So now, in addition to the 8-10 hours I spend in the gym every week and the 14-ish hours I spent crafting and the 5-ish hours I spend cooking, I've got to make time for ANOTHER hobby. Wowza. I forgot to include the freelance writing and graphic design! And World of Warcraft! My mage is probably pouting in a cave somewhere. I don't sleep much, friends.

I've been atoning.
Well, not exactly - but my husband has! He's Jewish, you may recall, and the past two weeks have included the biggest holidays of the year for the Jews - Rosh Hashanah (new year) and Yom Kippur (day of atonement). This means lots of hours singing Hebrew music in temple. I didn't go this year, for lots of reasons, but still. It's busy times. And FYI - say what you will about the Jews, man, but they have this shit figured OUT. You devote 24 hours of the year to atonement. That's what I'm talking about. Most people have to atone, I don't know, at least once a week, but often way more than that. But not the Jews - no sir, they condense that shit to one long-ass session of apologizing and I think it's BRILLIANT. Kudos, Jews!

I've got secrets.
This is a big one. There's a lot of stuff going on that I'm really not able to discuss yet, so it's making my posts more of a challenge. And no, I'm not pregnant. And yes, I'm "nearing thirty" (GOD I love saying that!) and I don't care. Shush. Soon enough I'll be able to open up a bit, but for now - mum's the word.

So! That's my List O' Excuses and hopefully they'll pass inspection. But as I said, I have a doozy of a list of posts coming at you in October, not to mention a ton of fun activities to share, so please stay tuned and PLEASE - leave me a friggin' comment, will ya? LOVE YOU MEAN IT!

Sales pitch fail.

Today I had the misfortune of taking a sales call from a man who wants to help me recruit a specific demographic to my place of employment. That's all fine and dandy, but the trouble is the product is still in production. Read: the website isn't launched, and there's no evidence that it works. I had previously ignored a voice mail and an email from this man because a) I wasn't interested and b) his spelling and grammar were so unprofessionally shoddy, and I believe I've shared with you how quickly I write someone off (no pun intended) if they can't write. But I sat through his pitch out of the goodness of my heart, and I've got some gripes. If you want to get my business, here are a few points to consider.

Lose the 'tude.
First of all - I don't want your product, but I'm nice enough to let you speak. So I do NOT appreciate your attitude when you get all lippy and defensive with me. Really? Is that any way to treat a would-be client? What makes you think that you getting snippy is going to make me realize the error of my ways in declining your services? I am constantly amazed by how salespeople operate. You need to build trust and respect over time, not shove it down my throat. It's honestly a lot like dating. I REALIZE you want to get me in the sack on the first night, but IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. And it's NEVER gonna happen if you're not NICE TO ME! Capiche?

Prove your worth.
If you have no data to convince me that your product is worth my time, why are you calling me? Why would you call me with a still-in-development product - and I'm a non-profit organization, let's recall - and expect me to drop money? I don't have any money! I'm a non-profit organization! And then he actually tried to ARGUE with me about whether I could afford it. "Surely $500 isn't going to break the bank?" REALLY? Buddy - it's not even my budget we're talking about. I have no idea if so-and-so can afford this.

Don't oversell yourself.
If you tell me that your company is the #1 result if I do a search on Google, it sure as shit better be there. And honestly, the fact that it didn't even show up at all is a bad sign. Not number one, not even THERE. If I have to ask you how to find your company on Google, when I am typing THE NAME OF THE COMPANY in the search box, there's a serious problem.

Know what I do.
You know, it's a LITTLE offensive to me that, as we're speaking, you clearly have no idea what I do and you say things to me like, "I don't know how familiar you are with social media, but..." and "I'm not sure if you've been involved with launching a new website before, but here's why..." I mean SERIOUSLY. You should figure out what my function is before you start selling to me. I might not be the right person for you to speak with, and if I am, chances are you're getting on my nerves.

Know my name.
The man who called me today asked for Susan. There's no Susan in my office. He meant Suzanne. I corrected him on this, and then informed him that no, he couldn't speak to her but I would be happy to take his call (I'm Susan/Suzanne's boss). Then, when he sent me an email 10 minutes after our call, he addressed ME as Susan. DUDE. MY NAME IS SARAH. IT SAYS SO RIIIGHT THEEERE ON MY EMAIL SIGNATURE.

And while we're at it,

Don't scold me.
This is piggybacking on item one, but in that follow-up email - well, I think I'll just post it for you. He was responding to an email I sent forwarding him to the person he needs to speak with if he wants to make a sale.

Thank you Susan,
I appreciate the referral however I was expecting a touch of an endorsement stating that you like what you see. I will forward her the info as promise.

Sincerely,

xxxx

I'm sorry - I promised you nothing, pal. And how dare you scold me over email! Now you've basically guaranteed that I will never, ever work with you. Or endorse your crappy, not-yet-completed product. Maybe I'll write BACK to the lady in question and point out your lack of grammatical skills and the fact that your WORK EMAIL ADDRESS is a ROCKETMAIL account.

You don't believe me, do you? I can FEEL you not believing me. But it's true. I can't make priceless shit like that up.

I'm telling you, it never ceases to amaze me, the way people will try and make a sale. I get that times are tough, but I swear these idiots are getting dumber and you gotta bring your A game these days to close the deal.

Hiding the God Squad.

Dude! It's September! How the heck did that happen? I have been so busy, I haven't even had time to play World of Warcraft! SAD! What will become of my awesome warlock? I've hardly had the chance to work with her! Not to mention my rogue, Wendypeff! I miss you, Wendy!

*pause for air* Wow, I'm a nerd.

Don't worry though, all's not lost. I'm still knitting.

Recently, I made an awesome discovery on Facebook - the "hide" function. You would think, since social media is a huge part of my life and my livelihood, I would have realized this capability existed much, much sooner, but I didn't. Because I now have someone working with me who is paid to pay attention to the functions of Facebook, so I just go on there with reckless abandon, clicking around with eyes wide shut, not paying much attention to the new bells and whistles that are added every day.

For those of you who, like me, are a little slow on the uptake, here's what I'm talking about. If you are looking at the news feed, and you click your mouse to the far right of a person's name in the news feed, a little button that says "Hide" will come up, and you can click it. AND HIDE THEM.

Here's what prompted me to seek out and find this awesome, life-altering function: the lord.

I don't think I'm shocking any of my readers when I inform you that I don't talk much about God, nor do I read much about God or think much about God. So, for me, one of the most irritating things about social media is how people use it for proselytizing and spreading the gospel of Jesus. I hate to pick solely on Christians here, but I have yet to see a SINGLE person post something on Facebook about Krishna, Moses, Allah or anyone other than J.C. When I do, I will come back here, edit and apologize, but I'm not holding my breath.

Note to self: I should really ask my Jewish husband why he doesn't update with posts in Hebrew, straight out of the Torah, several times a week. What gives?

I'm happy for any of my Facebook friends who feel one with their god and take joy in the spiritual, blah blah blah. Glad you've found what you're looking for. But the thing is - I'm not looking for it, and I don't much want to hear about it. I don't want to hear ten Bible verses a day. I don't want to know what you're praying for, or that you think the Lord is doing great miracles today. Does this not belong in specific groups formed for that purpose? Does it really belong in your news feed? It's one thing for a person to post the occasional update about religion, and I don't mind, but I have noticed that several of my Facebook acquaintances post Jesus-related propaganda to their news feed ten or more times a day, and I'm over it. One I can handle, ten, not so much.

And that's not even including the INVITATIONS I get from people to take the "Which Disciple Are You" quiz or become a fan of this or that church or pastor. Seriously? If you live in LA, chances are I'm not going to become a fan of your church. I don't even go to church HERE, where I LIVE. Why would I become a fan of yours all the way across the country?

So that was really starting to cause a dilemma - should I de-friend someone because they're Twittering and Facebooking incessantly about Jesus? That seems pretty...harsh, right? Sinful? Heathenish? Ok, fine, I guess it's all of the above. And I absolutely don't want a single one of my friends to feel that he or she cannot post about whatever they want to - it's a free country, and we all know how much I love to exercise my own right to freedom of speech. I've had someone de-friend me because of the liberal rants I posted, and it sucked. It made me feel terrible. I don't want to make anyone feel terrible. Isn't there a way we can co-exist here?!?!

And so I started poking around...and LO! THE ANGEL OF THE FACEBOOK APPEARED TO ME AND SAID, I GIVE YE HIDE! AND IT WAS GLORIOUS.

So NOW, whenever I reach the breaking point with the folks who really just can't seem to write about anything else other than their spiritual breakthroughs and epiphanies, I don't have to de-friend them (I never actually did that, but I was honestly considering it). I just HIDE THEM! WIN! And I'm so not the only person who's doing this - I have talked to several other people, some of whom are VERY religious Christians, who are equally sick of this stuff and have hidden friends guilty of over-the-top Jesus-posting. And it's not just religion - others I've talked to hid people when they grew tired of hearing about this that and the other thing - politics. World of Warcraft. Cooking. Sex. WHATEVER! Hiding is the new friending.

And I INVITE YOU to give it a try. If you're sick of hearing about how my latest knitting project is going, by all means, HIDE MY ASS. HIDE THE HELL OUT OF IT! I don't mind! I totally understand! Sick of my liberal views? Don't delete me - HIDE THAT SHIT! No reason we can't be friends. I seriously think the "Hide" function is a milestone in the process of bridging the gap between people of different religions and political affiliations. Why can't we all just get along? Well, now we can!

Note to self: I wonder if this post will cause people I'm connected to on Facebook to worry and begin praying for me. In their news feeds. Hmm...I'll never know - because they'll be HIDDEN! JOY!

All we need is just a little patience...

Thank you, Axl.

I haven't been talking about politics lately. Not here. I bitch about things at home, but for the most part I've been enjoying the fact that we have a thoughtful, articulate and intelligent president who can form complete sentences. And who seems to be trying to do the right thing. But my temperature is rising.

I logged in to AIM this morning and my Dashboard news popped up the following inane report on Barack Obama's slipping poll numbers. I call it inane because 1) all presidents' poll numbers slip after they spend a few months in office and 2) it doesn't matter what the poll numbers are because it's not an election year. It's just the media once again trying to make hype so people will tune in to their stations and have their minds numbed.

But I digress.

I have been bubbling with irritation for months and months now while doing a lot of reading and a lot of news-following. I have absolutely had it with all the "Rate Obama's first 100 days!" and "Rate Obama's first 200 days!" stories and discussions and panels. Friends - it's too soon to grade his performance. Chill out!

I know you all think I'm just a bleeding liberal and I'll blindly follow my leader like a sheep, but that's not the case. There are things that Obama has done so far that I'm disappointed in - but that would be true of anyone in office, because no president can make me happy 100% of the time, let alone make the whole COUNTRY happy. It's just not possible. He's no Mary Poppins! He can't just snap his fingers and fix it all! (Oh, but if he could!)

I wish Obama had asked for a higher stimulus package - I think, contrary to most Americans, that it wasn't big enough. I wish he would stand up for gay marriage. I wish he would close Guantanamo RIGHT NOW. But I still trust him to get the job done in the way that's best for the most people - because it's not about me. I wish people could understand that. It's not about ME PERSONALLY. It's about what's best for the country, and you know what? I have no clue what the answers are, so I'm willing to sit back for a while and give the man a little time to figure things out. The terrible economy was going to bitch slap us no matter who was president or how big the stimulus was. We are paying the price for YEARS of irresponsibility, and to expect anyone to be able to clean up a mess that's been 20 years in the making in 100 or 200 or 500 days is just insane.

Stop whining. Stop freaking out. It's FINE. Lots of good things are happening. We voted for change, and it's in the works. Have a little trust, have a little patience, and for god's sake, enjoy the part where your president isn't spending months on vacation shootin' stuff all the time, but actually WORKING.

I really, really respect the opinions of Paul Krugman - and before you start telling me how he's published in Rolling Stone and the New York Times, two uber-liberal platforms, let me remind you he won the Nobel Prize for economics, so I'm pretty sure he has a better idea of what he's talking about than you or I do. This article in particular from the March issue of Rolling Stone really makes a lot of great points.

My frustrations in a nutshell, and then I'll shut up for a few more months:

• I think we desperately need health care reform, and I hope that it passes, and I think people should do some research - most of the fears people have around this issue are ludicrous. No one is going to have to pay MORE. No one is going to be left for dead. And let's realize that those are the PRESENT conditions, so what we're trying to do is make it better for more people. And you know what, if health insurance cost me $20 more bucks a month but that $20 made it possible for someone else to go to the doctor, I would be okay with that. I have no tolerance on this issue. If you cannot see that our current system is shoddy, you are blind. If you are not willing to CONSIDER something new, you are selfish. There are people out there dying because they can't get in front of a doctor, and it is our duty as a country to fix that. Even if it DID mean those of us with money had to pay a little bit more. I've said this before, and I will keep saying it - TAX ME. GO AHEAD. TAKE MY MONEY. Most of the time, I'm pretty damn selfish, so if I can help others, BY ALL MEANS. Who am I to bitch, when I'm fortunate enough to have a nice life? And if I lost it all, I would hope someone else would feel the same way and want to help me.
• The GOP has got to stop being so unhelpful. Seriously, if they want to turn their party around, they need to cooperate and work together with democrats and independents to make change happen, not stubbornly block the road. It's getting ridiculous.
• People need to own their part in this destroyed economy and stop expecting our president to make magical changes in 1/25th of the time it took to create the mess. Start saving your money. Stop being irresponsible and racking up debt. And if you want things to be different, pay attention to YOUR LOCAL AND STATE GOVERNMENT because that's the best way you can bring change around. Don't hate the president - pressure your state representatives and congressmen and senators to do what's best for your state.
• I don't want to hear ANY MORE about how Obama is a socialist. SERIOUSLY. Someday I'm going to write a whole diatribe about socialism. GO READ ABOUT SWEDEN, PEOPLE. It looks PRETTY DAMN GOOD TO ME. We are NOT a socialist country, so SHUT UP!
• The media needs to re-learn what it is to report and stop airing 24 hours of opinion.

Change doesn't happen over night. Change takes time. And meanwhile, there's vodka.

There. I'm done. I'm getting off my soap box for a while.

PS - My husband wrote a really great post about the media, healthcare and all the rest - it's far more eloquent than this and I think you should read it.

Petitioning for more R & R.

Whew! I just flew in from New York, and DAMN, am I exhausted!

Those of you who follow my adventures know that I have done a lot of travel this summer. I've touched ground in Pittsburgh, Bar Harbor, Savannah, Charleston and NYC since June 1, which might sound pretty damn glamorous and exciting to some of you. But before you get too excited, you should know that four out of five of those trips were just over a weekend. Even the trip to Bar Harbor was a whirlwind carried out in six days - not long considering how much time and money it takes to get there.

Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful to have been able to make these trips, and I realize lots of people don't have the aforementioned time and/or money to carry out so much crazy activity. I'm very lucky - I don't have a kid, I have a husband who contributes to the bank account, and I have a generous three weeks of paid vacation a year. So - with all these fortunes - why do I feel so cranky and disgruntled? I'll tell you why. Three weeks of vacation isn't really that much.

Many of you are likely shaking your heads in disgust at this point, but hear me out. My husband only gets two weeks, so right off the bat, there's a lot of scrambling to make our schedules mesh - and what really ends up happening is I take several long weekends to see friends or family with the five days I have that he doesn't. Also - because our families are scattered all over the place, a lot of time is spent visiting for holidays or major life events. This June's trip to Bar Harbor was for my brother's graduation, for example, and in August I'll visit my grandma in Missouri to help her recoup from a major surgery.

The reality is that we take one week of vacation every year at the beach in North Carolina and we try and squeeze out a few other things by stretching weekends and using holiday leave time. Our trip to London was famously brief, and so was our 2008 trip to D.C.

So, call me a whiner, call me spoiled, but I'm still going to say it - Americans don't get enough vacation time. I've thought this for quite a while, but my friend Nicole posted an article that I thought really summed it up well. Did you know that in most European countries, workers are granted more than 20 days of paid vacation each year? Don't even get me started on health care, maternity leave and other benefits - I'll be here all night and I'll never get to eat my fish sammich. Suffice to say, I'd gladly take a 5k paycut to get a full five weeks of vacation a year.

And think about it - we Americans spend more hours in the office by far than anything else in life. Most of us spend 3/4 of our week in the office, if not more - and as if that weren't bad enough, we take work home. We don't use all our vacation and sick time because we feel too guilty - well, I don't. To be honest, I use every single drop of vacation time I'm given and I don't feel one bit guilty staying home if I feel the slightest bit under the weather. Because I WORK ALL THE TIME AND I WORK REALLY HARD.

I have done a lot of travel, and I get to go on lots of trips - but I work really hard for that right, and I also haven't had a real week of relaxing vacation in over a year. It's tough to reconcile my desire to see the world and my need to relax. As Sally Brown famously said, "All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share!" And I don't care if I have to move to Europe to get it!

Promoting Eating Disorders Since 1892

Here's a scenario for you. Let's say you're a nice, normal sized American woman - let's say you wear a size 12, for instance - a very common size still several inches away from a plus-size. Let's say you're interested in buying a new pair of pants, so you head to the mall to scope out your options. And let's say you walk into a store only to find they don't have a single pair of pants in your size. Probably not going to put you in a big-spending kinda mood, huh?

Or let's say you want to get a job, so you again head to the mall to find gainful employment - and you duck into a shop and fill out an application but you never hear back. Then you find out another of your friends did get a call for an interview - and she's three sizes smaller than you are.

Any guesses as to which store is irritating the crap out of me this week?

Ding ding ding!!!

To tell the truth, I don't think I ever bought more than a couple of items at A&F, even in my darkest years when I was desperately seeking validation. There are several reasons for this. One: my parents didn't buy that shit for me. They bought me clothes up through the end of high school, but after that I was on my own. And the clothes they bought were a bit more sensible. Two: since I had to pay for the stuff myself, and a tee shirt cost like $35, I really couldn't afford to shop there. Three: seeing as I wasn't ever a size 2, and more accurately during my college years I was more like a 12, and seeing as A&F only stocks up to about a size 10, I had trouble finding things that fit me. And let's face it - no one wants to feel like a fatass before even trying things on. Even though I'm back down to a size 6-8, I won't shop at that store. And four (probably the most important reason): everything in the store was designed for and catered to sluts. And I'm not a slut.

In addition to offering skanky clothes designed to make women feel bad about themselves at exorbitant prices, Abercrombie & Fitch has been plagued with legal and economic troubles (gee, I wonder why). Several friends and acquaintances have worked for Abercrombie or its sister store Hollister over the years, and I've heard quite a few tales of the discrimination and racism that go on in the store. Perhaps you, too, have heard of the Abercrombie & Fitch "Look Book" - a manual that's handed out to each employee with guidelines for appearances. Doesn't sound so bad, right? Abercrombie just wants employees to maintain a cleancut, all-American look! Well, if you don't think that sounds so bad, how about Riam Dean, an A&F employee who was banished to the storeroom when her managers discovered her prosthetic arm. Or Kristen Carmichael, also exiled to the storeroom after her managers rated her face. If you go digging around online, you can find other instances of individuals who claim to have been discriminated against by the company on issues of weight, race, etc. Way to keep it classy, Abercrombie & Fitch! I guess by "cleancut" and "American" they mean "anorexic" and "slutty."

I think by now most people I know have long since given up shopping at stores like Abercrombie & Fitch - and if you haven't, shame on you. We're not the target audience anymore. We're not 16. Well, maybe a few of my readers are, but all you Gen X and early Gen Y readers should know better than to be caught dead spending your hard-earned cash at A&F or any other similar store. And yes, I will admit that I still buy jeans and the occasional loungewear at American Eagle Outfitters, but no other jeans fit me as well, and I refuse to spend more money. So there. In their defense, AE offers women's jeans up to a size 18. The Gap goes to size 20. And let's face it - American Eagle never hired people to stand in their damn doorway posing as still-life models.

So join me in my universal ban of all things related to A&F or other like-minded clothiers! And I'll keep you posted when I open my own line of clothes, TwoSixy, wherein I shall employ a Look Book that demands my employees wear clothes that fit them and accessorize with a signature eyepatch.

Remembering a legend.

As everyone knows by now, we lost Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson (!!!) this week. What a huge chunk of Gen X's childhood to lose all at once. Ed was a household name, Farrah's hair was legendary and Michael changed the face of pop music forever.

I know it's kinda crass, but I'm really only sad about Michael - as troubled as the past 15 years have been for him, I didn't see that coming. At least Ed lived to be an old man. Farrah's death put an end to a long and painful battle with cancer. But Michael Jackson's heart stopped yesterday and it shocked the world.

What makes me sad is that because Michael got SO weird in the latter part of his life - financial and legal battles that obliterated most of his wealth and rumors and allegations of child abuse and molestation - many of us who "knew him when" have forgotten his former cool factor. And younger generations don't even realize how badass he was. Sure, everyone likes his tunes still, but most would ultimately categorize him as a freak.

And yes, Michael Jackson was a weird, freakish man. But I feel sorry for him. I think his story is tragic, and I think most of his problems can be attributed to a childhood spent almost entirely in show business - he really didn't have a childhood at all. It was spent singing for people in bars and nightclubs, and then the Jackson 5 exploded to fame and all the pressure was on Michael to lead the way. That's a lot for any kid to take.

In my opinion, Michael formed unhealthy relationships with children because they represented a purity and innocence that he never was able to experience. I believe Michael went to such drastic measures to change his appearance because he didn't know who he was. Even as far back as the Bad and Thriller albums he'd had a lot of plastic surgery. By the time Dangerous came out, he no longer resembled his childhood self. In the past ten years, I think I speak for most people when I say I couldn't bear to look at him.

But regardless of his personal battles, Michael Jackson changed the face of pop music worldwide. He was one of the most gifted performers ever to walk across a stage, and 25 years later his songs and his music videos are still completely awesome and cutting edge. One of my very first memories is of my mom watching the Thriller video in our house in Michigan - I couldn't have  been more than three - and I absolutely loved the music but the monsters scared me so I would hide behind the chair and just peek out intermittently. That's my first musical memory, and it completely shaped my musical taste.

I hope that the world will join me in choosing to remember Michael for his talent and his vibrant energy as a performer and not for his dark, troubled personal life. I'm going to remember him like this:

and this:

and maybe a little bit of this:

Rest in peace, MJ.