Do YOU recall the most famous reindeer of all?

A couple weeks ago, when we returned from our holiday with family in Missouri, Jay and I snuggled up one evening to watch the classic Christmas flick "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" - you know, the claymation one with Burl Ives as the snowman?

Yes, that's the one.

I love, love, LOVED this little movie as a kid. My sister and I had a battered old VHS tape with this and several other holiday movies on it that we watched all year long. I'm pretty sure my mom would have been glad to punch that snowman right in the face round about 1988, but she put up with it like a trooper. All year, at any given time, you could probably hear my sister and I singing about Old Kris Kringle and the King of Jingle-ling! Ridiculous. Even as an adult, I love to watch it at the holidays, but I think somehow I missed it the past couple of years - so I was pretty excited to see it.

Hoo-boy, kids. I'm not sure when the last time YOU watched this movie was, but let me tell you what. It's a lot different when you're in your 30s. A LOT. Let me preface this by saying that I am in no way racist, homophobic, or prone to any other sort of prejudice that I might mention in the following. This movie came out in 1964, and the song was written in the late 30s...and I'm thinking it's no accident that, as an adult, I read this entire thing like a Cliffs Notes to the Civil Rights Movement. Spoilers ahead!

The plot: Rudolph, a cute little reindeer, is born and his dad, Donder, is pumped - until he notices that he has a shiny red nose. Donder immediately demands that Rudolph cover it with dirt so that he won't be a humiliation to the family or ruin his chances of someday being on Santa's sleigh team. Later, Rudolph goes to flying class and blows all the competition out of the water, impressing a young doe named Clarice and making lots of friends. Everything's going just great till his fake nose falls off and everyone shuns him. The flight instructor commands all the others to leave Rudolph out of all the reindeer games, and Santa even tells Donder that he's very disappointed in him. Nevermind that whole part where Rudy kicks ass at flying. 

Meanwhile, Hermey the elf is unhappy because he is being forced to make toys instead of become a dentist, so he and Rudolph head for the hills together, forming an alliance. They then meet up with Yukon Cornelius, a prospector who is also an outcast from society, happy to live on his own in search of silver and gold. The three of them set out on a series of missions doing good; they promise to get Santa to find homes for all the misfit toys; they capture and tame the Abominable Snowman; and Rudolph's shiny nose saves Christmas from being cancelled when a huge snowstorm hits. All is well and Rudolph and Co. are accepted back into mainstream society.

Observations: 

1) Rudolph, clearly, symbolizes racism in our country. I mean, he's not allowed to do anything because he has a black nose, people. How much more racist can you get? Not sure how even my five-year-old self missed this.

2) Hermey, clearly, is gay.

I mean, just look at him, will ya? Dude just wants to fix teeth instead of perform slave labor, man. The only thing that would make this more obvious is if he'd wanted to be a tailor. I think in the re-write, Hermey should be a fashion designer. But still, clearly, he's gay.

3) Yukon Cornelius, from what I can tell, represents the anti-government, anti-establishment. And kudos to him, man. He didn't like the way The Man was running the town and he got the hell outta there. I wouldn't mess with him, personally. Dude has sled dogs.

4) The Abominable Snowman is mentally handicapped. I see no other explanation for everyone thinking he's dangerous when really he's cuddly and likes putting stars on the top of Christmas trees. He reminds me of Sloth Fratelli from The Goonies.

5) Santa is a dick.

Which is, you know, upsetting to realize. Even as an adult. 

Also, a question. Santa lives at the North Pole, where, presumably, it snows every single year. You're telling me that a single snowstorm can derail the entire Christmas operation? Really? You'd think Santa, having just ONE job to do each year, would have a good contingency plan for dealing with commonplace North Pole weather in order to ensure the good children of the world get their unwanted Misfit Toys for Christmas.

Now, I'm not saying any of this is BAD. I mean, lessons about why it's not okay to single out people because they're different are GOOD lessons for children and adults of all ages. It's more just that I didn't realize, as a child, how deeply upsetting the plot of Rudolph actually is. I mean, SERIOUSLY? This poor deer has been abused since birth, ostracized, cast out, etc and so forth, all for having a weird-looking nose. Red instead of black. What is this, the German occupation at the North Pole? You bet your ass it is! That's EXACTLY what it is. I wonder if all the kids and parents hearing this song in 1939 immediately picked up on the issues at stake. Now every single time I hear this song or see this flick, the first thing I'm going to think is "Man, Santa and his employees are ASSHOLES! JUST LET HERMEY DO HIS THING, MAN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"

 

Comments

[Jay]

It's also very clear Santa does not support collective bargaining, judging by the way his slave driver toy shop leader works. I mean he forces Hermey to work through lunch and, let me tell ya, the United Elfin Toy Cobblers Local 201 would NOT stand for that.

[Ceylan]

Omg this made me laugh. Especially the part about Hermey. Bahaha!!

[Maggie]

I had a whole post mapped out last christmas... which i was going to reuse this christmas... about santa being a jerk! YOU STOLE MY POST! :(

But I liked yours better, and let's be honest... I wasn't going to get around to actually finishing writing mine, anyway.

[mohhati9]

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