Elegantly Random

Brace yourselves...I watched The Notebook.

Up for mockery and debate today: my missing girly gene.

For a long time now I've known that I simply do not have the same agenda when it comes to entertainment as most Americans. Lots of people turn to books, movies and music for sheer escapism - to be taken out of their daily lives and whisked away to places where things are prettier, easier, more romantic, more exciting, and much more neatly wrapped than "the real world." Most people don't care if a movie makes sense, or is realistic or plausible, so long as it's entertaining. 

For me, the exact opposite is true. It's true that I like to be entertained, and I like to escape from my life for a bit when I read a book or watch a film. But because I'm a very analytical person, and because I'm also an extremely critical person, my ability to do this relies heavily on how well-crafted the story is. If dialogue is clunky, if plot points are cliche and predictable, or not possible, it distracts me from the story. It's not enough for me to just be told a story by pretty people, or with pretty elements. The story has to be interesting and also well-told or I'll become too focused on the glitches to enjoy the total package. This is true even in the sense of a fantasy story. While in the case of fantasy I can accept the impossible as possible, it still has to make some semblance of sense - there has to be order in the prescribed "reality" of the story, and it has to be well-told. Good examples? Inception, Lord of the Rings.

Now, I realize that a lot of this is objective, because taste in music and film and such always is. But nevertheless, I'm a huge movie/lit/tv/music snob. Although I have guilty pleasures like anyone else in the world (BRITNEY SPEARS!), I usually can't enjoy something that's not technically solid. I can't get lost in the vocal stylings of Christina Aguilera, because I'm too aware of the way she's grinding and damaging her vocal chords. I get distracted watching movies like 27 Dresses because there's no way Katherine Heigl's character could ever afford that apartment, or that wardrobe. And I can't get lost in the romance of a film like Twilight, because I'm too busy snickering at the dialogue and the cheesy, poorly executed special effects. Essentially, I really suck at suspending disbelief unless the thing I'm engaged in is so good I forget to think.

This makes it infinitely hard to talk to people about entertainment. Because I'm always that girl who doesn't like what everyone else likes. You don't know how many times I've been the rain on the "I love Glee" or the "Isn't The Hangover the funniest movie you've ever seen?!" parade. It's tiring, not liking the things normal people like. I say this with great sincerity - sometimes, I really, really wish I liked the things everyone else likes. But I'm a slave to Rottentomatoes.com - and worse, I tend to agree. 

In addition to this problem of being an epic entertainment snob, I think it's also important to note that I'm not girly in terms of the kind of books and movies I like to read. It's probably not shocking, since I'm also not into weddings or naming my future children. Note: This is not a slam on those who do enjoy weddings, chick lit or pre-birth baby naming. This isn't to say I don't like romance - I do. But I'm going to choose Sense and Sensibility or Atonement over your standard chick lit. This is also really lonely, because I can't go to the movies with a group of girlfriends who want to see something like He's Just Not That Into You, or The Last Song, because there's no way I can sit through it without adding my own personal Mystery Science Theater wisecrack track.

So, hilariously, a few years ago while living in North Carolina, I got tired of not liking what every other girl I knew liked. It's exhausting, man! So I was persuaded by a coworker to try reading a Nicholas Sparks book, because everyone loves Nicholas Sparks. And despite my disinterest in chick lit, I am interested in pop culture, so I thought, why not? I'll give it a whirl. If everyone else likes this, surely there's something about it that's good, yes? So I picked up a copy of The Notebook from my local library and read it in a couple of sittings. And I absolutely, positively loathed it. When I got to the super-sappy, emotional ending, I famously - and somewhat violently - chucked the hardcover book across my bedroom, and the thud it made as it collided with the wall woke my husband up. He still laughs about this.

So for years, I've been hearing about how the film adaptation of The Notebook is great, and even though I hated the book, I would probably enjoy it because it's so much better. I've been dubious about this, even though I do admit that I like the starring actors, Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling, quite a bit. But I just hated the book so much, I couldn't do it. Until last week. I'm not even sure what motivated me to want to see it, aside from the fact that periodically I do like to try and force myself to like the things everyone else likes. I tried to watch Glee, and I read the Twilight books (and disliked all of it). For whatever reason, I decided I would Netflix The Notebook and give it a whirl. If nothing else, I thought, it'll be a chance to sort of get people into my headspace in terms of how I think about these movies. So they can see the crazy in action.

And ladies, I tried. I really did. I know that most of you out there in the world love this movie, and cried buckets over it, so I REALLY attempted to get into it. And you know, Rachel and Ryan are so likeable and so good-looking and have such fabulous chemistry that I nearly did manage to enjoy the movie. Nearly. I'll say this - in the hands of a less likeable pair, I think this movie would have been nigh unwatchable, but those two got me through it.

I'm going to share with you the notes I took during the movie, so you can see the sheer madness that goes through my mind when I watch something like this. No, I don't always take notes, but had I watched this with a friend or my husband, I would have said all of this and more out loud. There would have been pausing to rant approximately every 10 minutes. I hope this is not offensive to all of you Notebook-lovers out there. Believe me when I say, I would rather be on your side of the line than mine.

 

The Notebook, aka Love & Alzheimers (warning: spoilers and profanity)

• Ryan and Rachel are the hottest couple ever. So the movie wins in that regard.
• Rachel's life blows. Ah, the classic fancy-pants rich girl with no say in her life falls for the rough and tumble but fun and big-spirited poor guy. We haven't seen THIS 9 million times. "But DAD, he dangled from a FERRIS WHEEL FOR ME! And then we lay in the street together!"
• I can't help feeling like the real-life version of this story is called Blue Valentine.
• "It was an improbable romance." Um, no, James Garner. It's totally and completely probable. Let's play "see how many movies you can name in which the rich girl falls in love with the guy from the wrong side of the tracks." Titanic, anyone? Shakespeare in Love. Wuthering Heights. Roman Holiday. Dirty Dancing. A Knight's Tale. Cocktail. King Kong? (I slay me). I'm not saying it's not a winning formula, but it is most certainly probable.
• Ohmygod. DADDY'S MOUSTACHE! There is no way I can take Rachel's parents seriously from this moment forward. BAHAHAHA.

• So, basically what happened here is this. Nicholas Sparks watched Titanic and then moved the action to the south.
• If it's summer in Charleston, why the hell are they wearing coats and hats? And why can I see their breath?!?!?!
• Allie's bathing suit/headgear just made me choke on my wine. You're a bird, I'm a bird, we're all birds. Drunk birds.

• The fight with parents/breakup scene started off great but then totally fizzled into hysterical cliche land.
• Am I the only one who finds the elderly version of them cheesy? and did anyone really not know it was them as old people? This is a legit question. Had I not read the book, as an audience member, am I to be surprised later on when it's revealed that these two are grown-up Ryan and Rachel? Also, do these two look ANYTHING like Ryan and Rachel? I do not accept these old people!
• If you need a stone cold bitch, hire Joan Allen!
• Wartime cheeeeese. Did we really need the 2-second shot of Ryan Gosling at war? I guess we are supposed to see his sadness at losing his best pal, but that guy was only in the movie for about 2 minutes anyway, so I'm left feeling a little bit manipulated.
• MARSDEN!!! I LOVE THIS DUDE! but isn't this yet another stretch that she meets a fabulously wealthy guy on his sickbed? If it's not a stretch, I clearly should have spent a lot less time working a job and more time as a volunteer hospital nurse. MARSDEN! That's it, I choose Lon. He's Marsden AND he's got cash.

• Um, Allie? You used to be cool.
• Restore the house and Allie will come back. Hmmm. Using her super-special lovers' ESPN, she will know that you have fixed up this house.
• Hey Noah. Don't knock this hussy up.
• Sure dementia is irreversible, but not for THESE TWO.
• The kids don't wanna deal with mom's demented ass! Yay, humanity! But bad writing - this scene gives away that Noah and Allie end up together, and she doesn't end up with Marsden. So I ask you - at this point, why should I continue to watch this movie?
• RAIN IS FUNNY!!!!!! Has anyone else noticed that this is at least the 3rd time, if not the 4th, in this film that Rachel has jumped up into Noah's arms and wrapped her legs around him? Do people really do this? Or is this just part of the 1940s mating ritual? Can I find info on this in some archive somewhere?

• And then there's sex!!!!! Long-awaited sex. Could we get some more light on these two? Ryan's abs are about the only thing getting me through this movie. 
• Dinner with Martha - awkward. Good-BYE, Martha! Also awkward - Allie's enormous ring. You'd think she could maybe take that off while she's shacked up with Noah.
• Aw, see that? he made her a room for painting and her fiance didn't even know she paints. Nifty! Because he gets her!!!!!!!
• Ohhhh riiiight. Mom has her own regrets, projects her unhappiness onto her kid...good. Very clever. Well played, Joan!
• This Allie is a slow, slow learner.
• FUCKIN' MARSDEN! this guuuy! Way to love Allie even though she spread it for another dude. Marsden, I will be your fiance. 
• Yes, crazy old Gena Rowlands. it was you. You're Allie. Genius. Gaaaaaaaaaawd. Gena, you deserve better. 
• Dude. This movie just took a totally messed up turn. Yowza. Now I'm remembering why I tossed the book across the room.
• Way to kill Old-Noah's ass with your incessant memory loss, Allie. Sheesh. But this is a Sparksian tale, so we still need our money Jesus/miracle moment. Wait for it...wait for it....
• This is about where I start feeling like an asshole, because I'm supposed to be touched, and in theory I am...but I'm too busy rolling my eyes at the crap-tastic dialogue. I have issues.
• THEY DID IT! THEIR LOVE TOOK THEM AWAY TOGETHER! HUZZAH! This is gonna be tough on their kids, man. Hey, writers! Nice touch, killing both of them together instead of leaving Noah old and single. I guess this means you won't be making The Wedding (Notebook sequel). Waiting for the icy Atlantic waters to come swishing up around their deathbed...

• Somewhere, Christopher Reeves is shaking his fist from the grave, wondering why the end of HIS tragic romance movie didn't turn out with a dual death ending (Somewhere in Time).

So, friends...that was my movie watching experience. Nary a tear was shed. Fortunately, I didn't throw my DVD player across the room. This is what happens when I watch these movies. This is why I don't do Nicholas Sparks. Period. There is something the matter with me. Who has a cure for this stone cold heart of mine?

Some movies that do make me cry EVERY TIME, withouth fail, which may or may not be ridiculous: Finding Nemo. In America. Dead Poets Society. E.T. The Neverending Story. Rudy. How about you? Which stories make you cry? Which books or shows does everyone love while you hate?

Dirty girl?

Alright, friends. Here's a discussion I've been longing to have with the internet community for ages and just haven't gotten around to writing about: cleanliness, and specifically, public restroom practices.

Today I went in the restroom behind one other girl about my age. I needed to blow my nose, so while I was taking care of that, I watched as this girl stuck her head in all three stalls and rejected each of them one by one. "Dirty?" I asked her. "One has no TP, the other two are dirty. I'm going downstairs," she said.

Maybe I should preface the rest of this tale with a little background on me and my views about cleanliness. So here's the deal. I'm not a super-clean person. I almost hesitate to type that because I have a feeling that's going to make me sound like a dirty person, which I don't think is accurate. But if I'm being honest, I can't call myself super-clean. I feel like I deserve props at the onset for the having the guts to be honest about this.

I shower every day. Although I wash my hair daily, I don't always scrub my body with soap unless I've been doing something to become filthy, like I've had an especially nasty workout or I've gotten literally soiled in some way (fell in the mud, walked around in flip flops all day, etc). Using soap every day dries my skin and makes me cranky. So I use a washcloth and scalding hot water on most days. I brush my teeth in the shower, a holdover from my college days. It's handy! A second toothbrushing will occur before bed. Usually, I use the same towel for several days before grabbing a new one - I hang the towels up after each shower, because I am neat and this way they dry out quickly.  I work out every day, but rarely do I shower again post-workout, though I do spot-freshen and change clothes. I've been known to wear the same underwear two days in a row. (TMI? Is there such a thing with me, really?) I don't shave every day. I don't get waxed anywhere but my face. I don't wash my hands all the time. I'd say in a given day I wash my hands a couple of times. I wash before I cook food. I use deodorant and other sanitary products on a daily basis. I do keep a bottle of hand sanitizer on my desk.

Here's how I use a public restroom 9 times out of 10, the only exception being a truly filthy restroom. And I suspect my definition varies from some people's.

Step 1: Assessment
I approach the bathroom door and open it with my hands - none of that crazy elbow-Olympics for me. I open the stall door and assess for general cleanliness, number of free stalls, etc. 

Step 2a: Stall Prep (if needed)
If there is any leftover paper on the seat, I do not leave. I tear off a piece of TP and use that to push the paper into the bowl, flush, and then I will use the toilet. If liquid is on the seat, I attempt to determine if it's just water that splashed out from the bowl during the previous flush (because there's no reason to bail if that's the case), or if it's tinkle sprinkle. If it's the former, I will probably again grab some TP, wipe it, flush the TP and use the john. If it's sprinkle, I may walk away and wait for another stall, or I might still wipe it off and use. I figure the TP is protecting my hands from whatever, and that's fine. If there is pee in the toilet, I flush it and then use it. Anything else in there, and I'm going to walk away, because that's gross. That's my threshold, I suppose.

Step 2b: Using the Stall
Assuming all is clean and ready for usage, here's my approach. I never use seat covers unless there is something truly wrong with the seat and it is a dire emergency and I MUST use this toilet. Which is nearly never. And I don't hover. I sit right down, seat uncovered, and go. When I'm finished, I flush the toilet, with my hands and a protective piece of TP, or my elbow, not my foot. Incidentally, why do people flush with their feet? Don't they know that whatever is on their feet is 10,000 times worse than what might have been on their hands? OMG. Rage.

Step 3: Follow-up/Departure
I exit the stall, and - confession time - sometimes I wash my hands. I will wash my hands if a) I had to clean off the toilet to use it or b) I got my hands dirty while going to the bathroom. Most of the time, though, I just run them under super-hot water. And then I exit, using my hands to open the door like a filthy heathen.

Go ahead, say it. You're appalled.

Here's the deal. I realize there are germs out there. And I could lather my hands for 4 minutes after going to the bathroom, or refuse to use a toilet that's had paper on the seat. But then, four seconds later, when I push the elevator button or grab a Coke from the vending machine, it's all going to go to shit, friends. Because that button is germy. EVERYTHING is germy. I'm not a germophobe. While I generally at least rinse my hands off before leaving the bathroom, I don't soap up for 4 minutes. What am I, three? I almost never soil my hands while going to the bathroom. In fact, I'm more likely to soil my hands if I'm worrying about hovering over the seat or some other neurotic thing.

I am 1000% sure I'm in the minority here, but really, I feel like people are overly concerned with germs, and I also feel like it messes up your immune system to panic TOO much about these things. I just don't understand why people - usually women - put so much energy into making sure to never put their hands in contact with anything in a public restroom (which, by the way, is why I have to stand in line for 20 minutes to use a public bathroom and my husband is in and out in 2), but then 3 seconds after leaving the bathroom they touch any number of things coated with germs. The office coffeepot. The elevator buttons. The handles and metal posts on trains. Their coworker's desk. People only think about germs in the bathroom, because body waste is on the brain, but seriously, your kitchen sink is equally if not more filthy.

I don't wipe down my gym equipment before I use it (although I do the post-workout courtesy wipe). I have no plans to put my baby in a stroller with a plastic shield on it unless we happen to live in a place so thick with smog I can't see my hand in front of my face. I let my dog "kiss" my cheek. Maybe I'm gross...but I don't feel like I am. I have very clear, healthy skin and hair, and I almost never get zits. And I smell good. I also almost never get any kind of sickness that's not related to my weak bronchial tubes. So clearly, I'm doing something right.

Panicking about germs doesn't guarantee you aren't still covered in them, one, and two, prevents people from building up immunities. And I'm sure most of you have read all those studies that talk about how commonly used spots in your own home are filthier than public bathrooms. And if nothing else, my lack of germophobic bathroom regimen means I am literally the fastest woman in any public restroom, EVER. And my husband appreciates this.

So here's how that bathroom thing ended this morning. The chick left, and I looked in the stalls. The first one had a little water on the seat, which I kindly wiped off for the next person, and then flushed the TP. The second stall had a seat cover from the last user still stuck to it (really, rude, ladies). I used some TP to shove it in the bowl and flushed for the next user's pleasure. And then I grabbed one of the superfluous rolls of TP from one of the first two stalls and took it with me into the paperless third stall. And when I was finished, I brazenly left after a mere rinse of the hands. So far, no cholera or tuberculosis have set in.

Update: I try to avoid making edits/changes to my posts after I write them but this one has gotten a lot of feedback. I feel compelled to assure my readers that I do not use my bare hand to flush the tainted toilet handle - I either grab some TP to protect me, or I flush with my elbow. If I do use my hands, then I WILL wash with soap after. Also, Julie made a great point that she thinks it's weird that I wash my hair every day and not my bod. I should clarify. The very act of showering means I am rinsing my body off daily. I don't like to soap up all the time because I've found that it gives me very dry skin, so I usually just use water and my hands/washcloth. And I smell purty, so it must be working! :) Oh, and yes, I do floss! :)

My Drunk Kitchen

For you, for hump day...this week's biggest prize: My Drunk Kitchen. Can I just say how freakin' pissed I am that Jen and I didn't think of this first?

 

On Japan.

While I'm 100% sure there's nothing I can say here that will be more interesting or useful than anything the other 9 bazillion bloggers on the interwebs have already said about this, I want to talk for a brief moment about the earthquake slash tsunami slash nuclear disaster in Japan. 

Last week, last Thursday night, to be exact, Jay and I happened to put on the news for a bit around 10:30 p.m. (not a normal occurance in our abode, as we get most of our news online or from Comedy Central) and were shocked and horrified to learn about the then-labeled 8.9, now confirmed as a magnitude 9 Tōhoku earthquake in the waters off the shore of Japan. We became still more horrified as we watched early footage of the tsunami and the flooding. For the past week, my friends and I have watched in shock and disbelief as heart-wrenching videos have spilled all over the internet, depicting the devastating flooding and horrible destruction left behind from the tsunami. I don't even know what to say about the terrifying state of affairs surrounding the six nuclear power stations that are compromised and leaking radiation into the air.

The whole thing is horrific. It makes me think back to 2005 when, one year after I moved to North Carolina, Louisiana was ravaged by Hurricane Katrina. I remember how devastating it was, how terrible, how heartbreaking. It's unbelievable when you stop and think for just a minute how much worse this situation in Japan is. According to Wikipedia, at least 1,836 people died in Hurricane Katrina and in the subsequent floods, but there was another U.S. hurricane, the Okeechobee in the Bahamas, Puerto Rico and Florida in September 1928, that did even more damage.

Wikipedia also reports that the Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami have collectively claimed 5,692 lives and left 2,409 injured and 9,522 missing across seventeen prefectures. The earthquake has been named one of the five most powerful in the world since modern record-keeping began in 1900.

I think everyone I know has been following this story pretty closely as it has unravelled, despite the fact that Japan seems pretty far away to most people in the United States. One thing I've noticed, though, is that if you live on the west coast, it doesn't seem quite so far away - for several reasons. One, we share an ocean, despite its vastness, so Japan feels like a neighbor now in a way it didn't before. Two, LOTS of people who live in the Seattle area are Japanese or have friends or family members in Japan. In my humble circle, I knew about 8 people this week who were waiting anxiously to hear if their loved ones in Japan were okay. One of those people was my boss, whose significant other was stuck in Tokyo for most of this time. Lastly, I live in a highly geologically sensitive area - I don't think I have to tell you how perfectly poised Seattle, Washington is for earthquakes and volcanic eruptions - so it doesn't seem so impossible that something like this could happen a little closer to home. Or AT home.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not suddenly afraid to live in Seattle because of the situation in Japan. But it's a lot harder to focus on other things while this is going on than maybe it might have been if I still lived in North Carolina. 

Like everyone else in the world, my heart goes out to the people of Japan, and I'll be watching with hope that people are found, homes are rebuilt and this nuclear situation is resolved quickly.

If you haven't seen this video yet, please take a few minutes to watch. It's pretty scary stuff, but also, pretty amazing. The power of our planet never ceases to terrify and astound me.

On a superfluous and deeply selfish note (cue the first-world problems), may I just say that with my last two moves, to North Carolina and to Washington, I've said, "Hey! Now I live close enough to visit New Orleans!" and "Hey! Now it'll be cheaper to finally fly to Tokyo!" And both times, natural disasters struck. I've been all over the country, but not to New Orleans, and I'm guessing Japan's not happening anytime soon, either. Maybe this is yet another sign I need to quit moving!

Pretty good year.

A couple of weeks ago, on February 28th, I celebrated the one-year anniversary of my new life in Seattle. Pretty amazing, huh? I can't believe it's been a year already. And look, ma! I didn't even get SADS!

The past 12 months have been insane. INSANE. I quit my job in Charlotte, I drove all the way across the country. I spent six (amazing, luxurious, fantastic, epic) months unemployed and started a handspun yarn shop. I flew to Paris, Warsaw, Maine, New York (twice), Charlotte, Washington D.C. and Dublin (whew!) and visited something like 18 or 20 states - more travel than in any other year in my life, I think. Two international trips in one year? Who am I, Paris Hilton? I took a new job, which has been imperfect but still good. It's been crazy!

Moving to a new city always involves a lot of adjustment. This is the seventh state I've lived in, and the eighth town, and with every move, things change. One of the greatest benefits to moving, as I've said before, is you get a chance to adjust things about your life and even your personality - the way you dress, the food you eat, the kind of work you do. You get to start over. And that's pretty thrilling for a lot of reasons. Those of you who know me know that I've changed a lot in the past year. My clothes are different, I'm more relaxed (no, really), I don't drive a car anymore, I've gotten up close and personal with the local crazypants population...all KINDS of things. And I've loved it all. Even the weather.

Yes, this rainy, depressing place I live in, as it turns out, is 100% perfect for me climate-wise. I don't find it depressing, not in the slightest. I've always loved winter above all seasons, and in North Carolina, I dreaded the heat of the summer unless I was at the beach. While I do miss swimming in the ocean, I can't say that I miss much else weather-wise. I enjoy the mild climate of the PacNW - wearing jeans all year is an enormous win, big enough to more than make up for the cloud cover and rain. And to be totally honest, I don't mind the rain. I don't think it's for everyone, but for me, it's fine. Sun is overrated! I'm going to have the most beauuutiful skin in the woooorld when I'm older.

Whenever you move, there's always a window of time when, even though you like your new home, you feel kind of out of the loop, or like you don't quite fit in just yet. You feel keenly aware of the things about you that don't quite work in the new place, and you want to hurry up and join in with the local culture. When I moved to North Carolina, it took about five minutes before I felt like, dang, I need a drawl! Right now! I started saying y'all and might-could just as fast as possible, so people would stop giving me weird looks for saying foreign and formal things like "You should come out for a drink after work." Um, check the memo, Hyde - that's "Y'all comin' out for a cocktail?!" 

In the South, there were lots of things I had to learn. I was too pale. I wasn't thin or athletic enough. I needed waaay more bright colored dresses and skirts made out of summery fabrics, and at least 20 pairs of open-toed shoes. I also needed a floppy straw hat, and a week's worth of swimwear. I never really developed a taste for sweet tea, which kept me on the cusp of acceptance every time I went to lunch with anyone, ever. I don't think a single lunch passed when I didn't get teased for ordering a Diet Coke. Not one. But I sure did learn how to sip a drink or five on a veranda and draaawl my words. I learned to take mah sweeeet taaaaaahmmmm doin' juuuus' about anythin', daaaahlin'. I learned to gossip about people and then say "Bless her heart" real quick to make it sound like it was a well-wish. I learned not to get upset when people were horrified by my politics. Not going to church was a constant issue for me, and made me feel like a freak almost every single day I lived south of the Mason-Dixon line. I'll admit it was a relief to leave that behind, though I doooo miss the juleps, daaahlin'.

After a year in the PacNW, it's hilarious to list the changes and adjustments, and think about how they vary. First of all, most of those bright sundresses had to go. Because even though the summer days are long and there's almost no rain from July-October, it's still not hot. And there's only so much use you can get out of a hot-pink sundress here. And you can go ahead and toss most of those open-toed shoes right along with them. I really should have mailed all that stuff to the Charlotte Good Will because it's probably still sitting untouched in the Seattle one. I ran out and bought myself lots of waterproof items from REI. I stopped sunbathing - because really, what's the point? I rekindled my love of indie music and busted out the old Nirvana and Pearl Jam albums - and damn if they don't actually sound BETTER here than they EVER did in Pennsylvania! I stopped driving and started walking and taking the bus everywhere. I learned the names of all the big mountains so I wouldn't sound like an idiot. I started shopping at the farmer's markets instead of the grocery store. I realized that my body was woefully lacking in tattoos and piercings and set about to remedy that. Hardest of all, I had to stop talking to every single person I passed on the street or encountered during the day - that's probably the one thing I miss most about the South. It was a hard habit to get into living in Charlotte, but now I'm finding it hard to break. I miss every single person being my best friend! Ha, ha.

You know what makes me feel like the biggest freak now? It's not the fact that I'm pale as a ghost when I used to be super tan. It's not that I still catch myself saying y'all in spite of myself. It's that I haven't got a membership to a CSA. I'm serious - on the west coast, not belonging to a CSA is like a major faux pas. I think almost everyone I know belongs to one. I'm too type A to get a random box of food every week. "What do you MEAN I can't personally select all of my veggies!?!?!? But I have to plan out all my meals several weeks in advance!!!!!" To think that one year ago, my heathenistic ways were my biggest cross to bear, and now it's that I don't get a weekly farm box - that is funny.

Cheers, Seattle. It's been a good year.

If you've made a move, big or small, in your life, I'd love to hear about how things changed for you!

The year in film.

Many of you know that for years now, I've been something of a film freak. I'm a huge snob when it comes to the movies. If it ain't real, reaaaal good (and we're talking critically acclaimed, more often than not), I'm not going to see it in the theater. None of this 3-star nonsense for me, land's sakes, no! I'm a review-reader and critic myself, a snob of the highest order. And I have to say, as a huge snob, this was a tremendously good year in film. For the first time since probably 2003, I saw almost every single movie up for nominations, including all 10 of the best picture Oscar nominees. This wasn't my intent, but they were just all so good, I had to finish what I'd started. Hardest one to watch? 127 Hours. Holy, moly - I had to force myself to go, but I'm really glad I did.

So now that all the awards have been awarded and we're well into another year in film (the dry, painful part of the year in film), I'm here to give you what you've all been waiting for - my top ten list, in order. This was NOT easy to figure out this time around. When I say best, I mean best all-around, not best performance by a single person, or best directing. Best movie, plain and simple. Here we go.

10. The Fighter (Mark Wahlberg, Amy Adams, Christian Bale)

At first glance, this movie seems kind of simple, quiet, affable - the story of two brothers who are fighters and how the drug-addled former star helps his little brother take the title. It's easy to dismiss Mark Wahlberg's performance as a little too cool and calm, especially next to the tour de force that is Christian Bale in this movie. Believe the hype - this is the best performance you have ever seen Christian Bale give. It's total Methody madness, but it's awesome. As Dicky Eklund, he's heart-wrenching and funny and tragic all at once. You miss him when he's not on screen, you wonder at every turn what he's gonna do next. But Wahlberg's a rock, and it takes a lot to play the straight man. Obviously, Melissa Leo got the Oscar for her brassy performance as the mother and driving force behind the Eklund brothers' careers, but Amy Adams is such a surprise in this film. It's nice to see her break out of her sweet-girl standard role and get a little tough. This is a great movie in every respect.

9. The Kids are All Right (Julianne Moore, Annette Bening, Mark Ruffalo)

Yep, it's that LESBIAN MOVIE! But you know what's so great about this movie is that it addresses what it's like to be a lesbian couple raising kids at the very same time as it transcends lesbian vs. straight - it's just a movie about a family, trying to keep it together when the sperm donor suddenly re-enters the picture. Both Annette Bening and Julianne Moore give the best performances of their careers in this movie, and I do think Annette got robbed at the Oscars, though Julianne's scenes were equally amazing. Don't overlook Mark Ruffalo, though, who also shines as the guy who just found out he's a dad and doesn't quite know what family means. This is my favorite kind of movie - it's sad, it's funny, it's real.

8. Blue Valentine (Michelle Williams, Ryan Gosling)

There's no getting around it - this movie is sad. Very, very sad. It's the story of a couple who meet, fall in love and fall apart, and you see it all in painful detail. It's shot out of sequence, so the falling-in-love scenes are interspersed with the about-to-kill-each-other scenes, which makes it even more brutal to watch. The basic premise is that after a few years of a tough marriage, Michelle and Ryan shack up in a cheesy motel in an attempt to rekindle their romance that is at first strained and then utterly crushing. Michelle Williams received a Best Actress Oscar nomination, but Ryan Gosling was snubbed - horribly so, IMO, and deserved Jeff Bridges' nomination. This is a painful ride, but it's worth it for the honesty and bravery you'll witness.

7. Winter's Bone (Jennifer Lawrence, John Hawkes)

Y'all, watch out for Jennifer Lawrence. This is one of the most incredible breakout performances I have EVER seen. Who the hell is this chick? I have no idea, but she was intense. If she'd taken home the statue last weekend, I would have had absolutely ZERO complaints, and that's usually not the case for me with young actors. This movie has unfortunately not been seen by many people. It's tough subject matter (I promise, not all my picks are sad!) but I highly recommend it. Story revolves around a young girl who is forced to care for her two small siblings - mom's not well, dad's off in the Ozarks cooking crystal meth. Circumstances bring her to the point where she's in danger of losing her home, and she sets off to find her dad, with no help from his family and friends. It's a brutal, stark depiction of a corner of America we don't see very often - those rural white folk who can barely read and have no real futures to speak of. Super pumped that the Academy recognized the supporting performance of John Hawkes (Deadwood, The Perfect Storm), a fine actor who has gone overlooked for ages. Check it out.

6. Inception (Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page)

We are now officially at the point where Christopher Nolan is being totally and sorely overlooked as a director. His not getting a directing nomination at the Oscars was a real shame, because over and over again the man makes blockbusters for the thinking moviegoer, which are a real rarity. Seriously, I only saw two movies all summer long - Inception and Toy Story 3 - because most of the summer fare is so utterly stupid I can't be bothered. I like a good explosion as much as the next person, but I wouldn't mind being challenged at least a LITTLE bit along the way. Enter Inception - a mind-bender you have to see to believe. Awesome, awesome flick.

5. The Town (Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm)

I have been telling absolutely everyone that this is one of the most underrated movies of the year. This movie should absolutely have been in the Oscars' top ten over True Grit (we'll get to that later on). Outstanding, awesome movie directed by Ben Affleck - ladies and gentlemen, Ben Affleck is back in full force. If you haven't seen his previous directorial effort, Gone Baby Gone, do - it's brutal and awesome. This movie is even better. Affleck plays a Boston bank robber who tries to break out of the scene after falling in love with a woman who was a victim in his last heist. Renner's his best friend, Don Draper - er, Jon Hamm - is the cop trying to catch them. This is a fast-paced action movie with a heart - in other words, the same rare breed as my #5 pick. I've rated this film very high because, like Inception, it's the kind of movie you're going to want to watch over and over. Also, I love to say this is an equal opportunity his-and-hers flick. Watch it with your sweetie!

4. 127 Hours (James Franco)

If there's one movie this year that stuck with me for days and made me think, it was this one. Damn you, Danny Boyle, for making such tough movies - you just can't look away from his films, no matter how painful they are. Everyone knows the true story - Aron Ralston went hiking in Utah, told no one where he was going, and then got stuck in a crevasse with his arm pinned to the canyon wall by a giant boulder. After five days and at the brink of starvation, Ralston cut his arm off in order to escape. This movie was TOUGH to watch - terrifying, brutal - but also really beautiful and uplifting in the end. I read a review that said "by the time you get to the point where he cuts off his arm, you'll be begging him to do it." This is so true. You really just want to see him walk out. James Franco IS this film. His performance is amazing, in a word - it's reminiscent of the way Tom Hanks carried Castaway, only this movie is a zillion times better than that one was. As much as I love Colin Firth (we'll get to him soon, too), if I were in the Academy, my best actor vote would have gone to Franco. Also - Danny Boyle uses some very nifty tricks to get you in Ralston's headspace and create a full movie experience that's broader than just a guy stuck in a hole in the ground. SEE IT. It's tough but you'll be glad you did.

3. Toy Story 3 (Tom Hanks, Tim Allen & co)

DAMN YOU, PIXAR! You've done it again! And you've gone and trumped my theory about sequels - this is the best Toy Story movie yet. The toys accidentally find themselves donated to a preschool and all hell breaks loose. Look for one very terrifying teddy bear, an awesome Michael Keaten Ken doll cameo, and a near-death experience (toys! incinerator!) that will have you on the edge of your seat with a lump the size of Dallas in your throat. Seriously, this movie was outstanding. Jay and I went to see it and I'm pretty sure even he was touched. Me? I sobbed like a baby as Pixar jerked the ever-loving shit out of my heartstrings. LOVE.

The last two picks were a REALLY tough call for me, but...

2. The King's Speech (Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham-Carter)

I knew I would love this movie as soon as I read about it, and I did. But I loved it even more than I thought I would. When you have three actors this good, and a script that's so sublime, there's really no way you can go wrong. But this is an out-of-the-ballpark kind of movie. All three of these actors are SO good, we're talking career-best for both the men. The story is about a king who stutters and learns to speak in public and therefore becomes a real leader - sounds simple, but Firth brings so much pain, frustration, fear and hope to the role, you just really can't help but smile and laugh when he finally gets it. Rush is amazing, possibly his best performance to date, and for me, the heart of the film. 

1. The Social Network (Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake)

Unlike The King's Speech, I didn't expect to love this movie. In fact, I rolled my eyes and thought, "Great. A movie about Facebook. How trendy." But the problem is, it's the best movie of the year. This is a pretty tough call, because The King's Speech is almost equally awesome. The two movies kind of have a lot in common, though. They're both thinking movies that rely on well-written scripts and perfectly executed performances as well as subtle directorial decisions - in a word, they're low on spectacle and heavy on dialogue. I could go on and on about The Social Network and how amazing all the actors were (they were) and how Aaron Sorkin's script is ridiculously great (it is) and how David Fincher got robbed at the Oscars for directing (he did)...but here's the bottom line. There were two unspeakably great movies this year, and I'm giving this one the edge because for once, for ONCE, the edgy and trendy movie is AS GOOD AS THE HYPE. You have two equally fabulous films, and one is your typical Oscar fare - pearls, furs, British accents, period garb - it's the safe choice. The other is about a bunch of Harvard nerds who make a social networking site that changes human communications forever. I'm not saying that The King's Speech wasn't good enough to win Best Picture...but wouldn't it have been cool if the Academy hadn't made the safe choice?

The Social Network - as good as the hype. And my #1.

Honorable Mentions:

Black Swan - creepy, moody and a much better movie than the previous year's The Wrestler. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 - solid adaptation of the book, sets the tone for the dismal and dark final chapter, best acting yet from the kids.

Let Me In - a remake, but absolutely brilliant. If you like scary movies, this is a must-see. Child vampires are scary.

Most overrated film of the year: True Grit. Seriously, if it weren't the Coens, then no one would have cared.

Movies I haven't seen but plan to:

Another Year
Rabbit Hole
Animal Kingdom
Tangled
Biutiful
Ghost Writer (I have heard this is incredible)
The Illusionist
Waiting for Superman
Barney's Version 

So - what were your top picks? :)