Friends, I'm starting a new series on this blog - and today is the first installment. It's come to my attention that I dislike a lot of things that most people seem to love. It happens to me all the time. So here is where I'll take a stand and explain myself. Let's get started. You know what sucks? Glee.
When the show premiered after American Idol on Fox last May, I was ALL ABOUT IT. I thought the pilot was hysterical - quirky, slightly inappropriate and infectiously fun, what with all the Journey covers and the cheerfully geeky high school kids. Not to MENTION the fact that it boasted stars like Lea Michele of Broadway's Spring Awakening and Jane Lynch of Best In Show. Win.
So I, like most of my friends, spent all summer anxiously awaiting the show's fall premiere, and tuned in with a bowl of popcorn and a glass of wine. I'm REALLY not a huge TV person - I record everything and usually listen to it more than watch it while I'm writing or crafting. But for Glee, I actually put down my knitting to watch, and you KNOW if the knitting is down, I'm seriously into something. But something was slightly off for me. I'm not even sure what it was, but I felt ever-so-slightly let down. It wasn't as funny as I remembered. The songs were less infectious and more uncomfortable. The cast was too perky and attractive to actually be social outcasts.
Week after week, the issues I have with the show have just mounted and mounted. But I still record it and watch it when I get a chance. I think it's because I have this strange, geeky need to be up on pop culture - I really dislike it when I have no idea what people are buzzing about. It makes me feel old and out of touch (which is why I watch American Idol, a show I really kind of hate - but I just can't stand not knowing how much it sucks when everyone else is talking about it).
So I've sort of developed a love/hate relationship with Glee. I haven't stopped watching it, but the entire time it's on, things are sticking out left and right that bug me or don't work or whatever. This, by the way, is my life story. Everything popular, I find fault with. It's really snobby and pretentious, I know, AND it's really sucky because I can't just enjoy something. But there it is. Glee has disappointed me, it gets on my nerves and I'm strongly considering not watching it anymore. So I've compiled a list of the pros and cons of this show, so that we all together can weigh it.
Pros:
Jane Lynch as Sue - She is hilarious, and even though her character is one-dimensional and over-the-top, I still giggle every week. She gets all the best one-liners, and she's the most consistently entertaining part of the show.
Lea Michele as Rachel - Again - totally one-dimensional character, not sure why in the world her panties are so moist for Finn (we'll get to him) but I do love her. I love her voice, even though I'm not sure that it's really been all that well showcased on this show. There I go again! I can't stop with the fault-finding. But I do love Lea Michele, I swear!
The occasional inappropriate jokes - When I first tuned in, the reason I liked the show was that it reminded me of that awesome piece of cinema Election - full of absolutely awkward and inappropriate humor. Once in a while, it lives up to my expectations and they whip out something outstanding - like last night's episode, where Noah decided he should date Rachel because they're both Jews. Awesome.
Kurt the gay kid - This character and the actor who plays him are MADE OF WIN. I adore Kurt. The episode where he joins the football team was hands-down the best one so far.
The cast - The cast is good. Everyone on the show. Except the stuttering chick. GOD I hate her! But universally, they're well-cast and they all do a great job. I really kinda love Principal Figgins.
Cons:
Quitters - Every single week, every single episode, someone quits Glee. It is SO ANNOYING. Seriously? Every week? It's so predictable. The situation opens up, the trouble is revealed and you can count down to it - ooh! he's gonna QUIT GLEE! Like that didn't happen last week!
Terry - Will's wife Terry is so heinously annoying, and not in that "love to hate her" kind of way, either. I just hate her. I also hate her sister and her sister's family, and more than ANYTHING I hate Terry's hysterical/fake pregnancy. I hate that last night Terry and her sister persuaded a doctor to go along with their faked pregnancy scheme. That would NEVER happen. Seriously.
Implausible story lines - There are lots of shows out there with ridiculous story lines, but they're well-written so you can just suspend your disbelief and enjoy. Not so with Glee. On Glee, about every 7 minutes, Jay and I find ourselves going, "Ok, that would NEVER happen." Everything on the show is completely retarded. Terry would never be hired as a school nurse. Will would never NOT KNOW his wife wasn't pregnant - like he never sees her naked? Ever? No show choir would ever be allowed to perform most of the songs on Glee. Ever. Emma could never, ever afford her adorable wardrobe on a high school guidance counselor's salary. Taken by themselves, things like this aren't a big deal - but it's EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SHOW. And the writing isn't good enough to make you forget how ridiculous it all is.
Emma & Will - This is just too much. Sure, Emma is cute and has awesome fashions. But seriously, the woman is absolutely bat-shit insane. SO, we want Will to leave his bat-shit insane wife with the fake pregnancy to take up with the bat-shit insane teacher who scrubs her pencils clean with a toothbrush and eats her lunch while wearing plastic gloves? Really?! What did Will ever do wrong to make us hate him so much that we wish this sort of insanity on him, hmm? I'm personally rooting for Kristin Chenowith to come back (and I am NOT a Kristin Chenowith fan) and for Will to run off with her instead. She may have been a drunk, but I can understand drunk. I can't understand bat-shit crazy with the fake babies and the toothbrush-scrubbing.
Emma herself - I don't like Emma. There, I said it. I wanted to. I tried. But she's so hard to feel sorry for. Dude - YOU'RE BAT SHIT CRAZY. And why, WHY would you run off with Coach Tanaka? I mean, sure it sucks you can't have Will, but that's like going from the highest mountain to the absolute rock bottom of the ocean. SERIOUSLY?! And what is UP with her accent? Hmm? I made Jay look her up online - she's from Virginia. Where in Virginia do people TALK LIKE THAT? She gets a few points for being cute, but seriously, EMMA SUCKS.
Finn & Quinn - We'll overlook the rhyming names, but these two - COME ON. Finn's character is poorly drawn and it's really, REALLY hard for me to believe that he's really stupid enough to think he knocked up his girlfriend with no actual insertion of the penis into the vagina. REALLY? I don't really have a beef with Quinn, because I think she's hot, but she's also an idiot for liking Finn better than hot, hot Noah.
The music - Yeah, I know - it's a musical show, so not liking the music is a PRETTY big issue. But the music is...well...crappy. They really teased us all with Journey, but I have yet to hear anything else that good on the show. It's mostly lame. I did like the mash-up episode but otherwise, craaap. Most of the musical numbers are so awkward that it's painful to watch them. I know most of you are not going to agree with me, but seriously - I can't get past the whole "they would never actually be allowed to sing this at a school" thing. Gold Digger? I Wanna Sex You Up? I don't think so. And WHY do they insist on making Will rap all the time? He's a great performer, and a great singer, but the rapping is just awkward. STOP WITH THE RAPPING, GLEE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY. Bad signs - I've never downloaded a song and I never put down the knitting to watch the musical numbers.
Auto-tune - Wait a minute - do these kids have auto-tune in their mics? Really?! THE GLEE KIDS ARE MAGIC!
The stuttering chick - Ok, this girl bugs the crap out of me! I have known some stutterers in my day, and they DO NOT SOUND LIKE THAT. Every time she does it, I just want to reach through my teevee and punch her.
The geeks who aren't geeky - Alright, MAYBE the wheel chair kid and the gay kid would get a little bit of shit from people. But there is NO EFFING WAY Rachel is getting a slushie thrown in the face. No way. She is RIDICULOUSLY hot and wears cute clothes and skimpy skirts. No way. And the "minority" girls are not geeky either. I don't buy it, not for a second. Especially not after the football guys joined the group - there's no way anyone would make fun of these kids. I went to high school, I did choir and theatre and I didn't get picked on. Neither did the guys. The end.
The incessant Fox plugs - Stop mentioning MySpace, for one. And second, it's so blatantly obvious that this entire show is just another Fox moneymaking scheme. I feel like it's all just one huuuge commercial and it detracts from my viewing pleasure.
The writing - I think all my above gripes have touched on this, but the writing, she is sub-par. The pilot was awesome. The subsequent episodes have not been.
There are probably about 17 other things about Glee that drive me up the wall, but I'm sure the list I've created will be more than enough to produce plenty of commentary and discourse, so have at it people. I welcome your comments. I'm used to not liking things that most people like, so you won't offend me. I'm pretty steadfastly convinced that Glee sucks. I could care less what happens next week. The only reason I want to keep tuning in is that I read that Jonathan Groff of Spring Awakening is coming on the show, and I love him. Damn you, Fox.
Once again, I agree with EVERY SINGLE WORD! I think I'm gonna start your fan club. I keep watching the show, but really only because it's on after SYTYCD and because I have a dwindling glimmer of hope that the show will have a cutesy musical number or funny moment. I'd love to actually HEAR their voices and not the steroids they play instead!
Posted by: J-ROK | October 22, 2009 at 09:39 AM
I know tv and fiction in general are all about suspending reality for entertainment's sake, but some of the characters on Glee are just so actively stupid I can no longer handle it. What kind of idiot can't tell his wife is wearing a fake belly?
Posted by: Cheryl | October 22, 2009 at 11:29 AM
This entry is hilarious! We're a couple of weeks behind here in Australia, but I've been watching it too. I loved it at first, but I've been thinking that it's getting more and more ridiculous as it went on. And as far as the "geeks" not being very geeky, even if everybody on television is on average 193801 times hotter than people in real life, I just thought that apparently high school was much more brutal in the US. What I can't stand is that Rachel's on-again off-again thing with both Glee and Finn. I never know if she's in the club anymore or not!
Posted by: Elin | October 22, 2009 at 03:32 PM
OK, I have never seen this show, so I can make no sense of this rant of yours. Just change the channel. Pop culture is for airheads.
Posted by: your grandmother | October 22, 2009 at 06:38 PM
See and my thing with the ridiculous plots is it takes character depth away. And that makes me not want to watch. There are so many chances they could take to get into these characters in a tangible way, but every time we get close, they up the lunacy factor.
Posted by: Jay | October 23, 2009 at 11:35 AM
Glee blows hardcore, as does most television. I understand your need to keep up with pop culture. I have to for my job, but don't really have the time to listen to/watch a lot. So, I cheated and got a subscription to Entertainment Weekly. It's a lifesaver. I can stay on top of pop culture, without having to actually partake in its sucktitude! *highly recommended*
Posted by: a-dogg | October 24, 2009 at 09:34 PM
I saw Glee for the first time this week. The hype was so thick it was hard to get a good look, but what I saw was mediocre, for all of the reasons you indicate and more. Like you, I often find myself outside the mainstream. It isn't something I strive for; it just happens. Anyway, my husband and I both watched the show and found it hard to stay with. It isn't very funny. The cast may be good, but it is wasted on bad writing and plotting. I won't be wasting any more time on this show.
Posted by: Margaret Ganong | November 13, 2009 at 08:22 AM
worst show ever!!!!
Posted by: blah | November 25, 2009 at 06:54 PM
So I dont ever watch T.V. but my sister is a TV junkie (watches every reality show from Amerikan Idol to Survivor to Gleeh)So one day after AI which i refuse to watch, i saw the pilot to Glee, Oooh boy, I hate anything on tv anyway,(except for ABC's "V" which I watch on HULU) so It wasnt surprising this peice of sh*t wouldnt even get a raised eyebrow from me... I cannot stand how zombified and creepy the characters are, I HATE the fact that they bastardize hit songs into a crappy zombie like kids-song-sing along reditions(that alone makes my blood boil) as it isnt enough that commercials ruin hit songs, like they cant come up with their own jingle, they have to disgrace great songs to sell laundry detergent for gods sakes!! Well this show i hope gets curtains soon because i cannot stand listening to those horrible glee-mixed songs and hearing the perky braindead dialogue through my bedroom door!its almost like Amerikan Idol is behind themaking of this horrifying fodder that they try to pass as a TV show.. I hate tv(as you can tell)WHY? because I hate to watch indoctrination at its best, forced commericals with my favorite songs being disgraced,pointless brain waste reality shows,finding out that your show all of a sudden goes on hiatus til next season (marketing shananigans)with all of this its horrifying to think what is the future of Television? id rather not imagine.....I say ditch your tv sets and dont watch crap like glee to keep up with pop culture, i know what your talking about, but you know damn well the show aint gonna get any better!!
Posted by: Alex Whiter | December 08, 2009 at 07:42 PM
Glee is American Idol with a plot. Glee is the Buffy The Vampire Slayer musical episode ('Once More With Feeling') minus the drama, character depth, originality, mysticism and Whedon-inspired greatness. Glee is Freaks and Geeks if it was written by Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell. Glee is the first 3 American Pie movies if they were written by the writers from Seventh Heaven and Touched By an Angel (overseen by Seacrest, Cowell, and an 18 year old MTV executive). In other words it blows. It bastardizes all of its inspirations and influences into a homogenized lowest-common-denominator of musical comedy.
As I type this I'm watching the show and the scene I just watched before the commercial break was funny and kinda touching... I'm pretty sure that the combination of such occasionally (very) good traits with the sucky traits mentioned before makes this show evil ...somehow.
Posted by: Thestral | January 06, 2010 at 06:24 PM
I agree the show sucks!
Posted by: jay | January 07, 2010 at 02:15 PM
First time reader, but I've gotta say, you nailed everything I hate about this show. Ever since having to suffer through an episode, I became convinced that it's just a combination of the worst elements of teen dramas and musicals. My example of almost every moment is as follows:
"Nothing will EVER be as important as what happens to us in high school"
*breaks into a random auto-tuned dance number*
Jane Lynch is hilarious though.
Posted by: The Overmatt | April 13, 2010 at 11:19 PM
It's like you live inside my mind. I blogged about this the other day. But I hate Journey. Sort of. And I think Rachel's voice is bordering on saccharine Disney now.
Posted by: Coggie | April 21, 2010 at 04:18 PM
Excuse me...don't watch!
Posted by: booksleuth | April 23, 2010 at 08:38 PM
My sis told me this show was funny. I sat through an entire episode with her. She never laughed once. There is not one person on the show that's funny. You want something funny. three Stooges. You want something to punish little kids for misbehaving, Glee. I read a test somewhere were they put a monkey in a room to watch 3 stooges. The monkey proceeded to drink it pee. The other monkey was watching Glee and proceeded to pee on another monkey. Don't know what the point of the study was, but I thinkyou get the idea.
Posted by: ILIKEGLEE | May 12, 2010 at 11:27 AM
finally someone that gets it. people can watch what they want but i'm always confused when a shitty show is so popular. i love sue sylvester. she's the only reason i watch it. the show is funny at times, but the music is what kills it for me.
i hate the music. they manage to pick the crappiest songs of all time. the performances are so over the top and ridiculous. i know it's supposed to be campy but jesus. it physically hurts my ears.
in order to watch an episode i have to fast forward every portion where they start to sing. i think a show can include singing and performing without being annoying as hell. for example treme. there's a lot of music but the delivery is sincere. you want to listen to it instead of feeling like your ears are bleeding.
the worst part is a lot of the characters individually are likable and i think they should be given much better material to work with. the episode where they sing ice ice baby? seriously?? wtf?
Posted by: erika | May 19, 2010 at 08:45 PM
I SO AGREE WITH YOU!!!!
on everything!!! especially about plot. And I'm also the kind of person that doesn't like ANYTHING popular. Only difference is, I hated gLee from the beginning :P
Posted by: Victoria Occhipinti | May 22, 2010 at 08:43 AM
It's a show I really want to like, but it seems to be little more than a slightly hipper version of High School Musical.
Couldn't care less about whether it's popular or not, either. A bad show is a bad show.
Posted by: Jordan | May 25, 2010 at 11:44 PM
I completely agree with you, and stopped watching Glee quite a while ago. The problem is, my roommates all still watch it, listen to the music, and subject me to their "Gleeky" conversations daily. I can't wait for this show to blow over like EVERY SINGLE pop culture fad.
Posted by: L-anon | August 09, 2010 at 05:46 PM
Also, what is WITH the background music? (ie. all those incessant doo-doo-doo-doos) That is the most annoying part of the show for me!
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Posted by: Music_master | September 25, 2010 at 06:46 AM
...what's your beef with Kristin Chenoweth? Why don't you watch her live onstage where she's in her craft before passing judgments? And Lea Michele sucks. I used to think she was decent and her voice is fantastic, but nothing excuses her Tony performance of "Don't Rain...". NOTHING. But the show does suck, I'll give you that.
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